race conditions

As at least one nautically themed childrens' book surely has it: C is for crab.

Coming at programming sideways feels more like a Haskell or Prolog thing, though.

Only those who lack a sense of humor.

I feel like Rust would be some complaint from the compiler saying that some apparently unrelated struct can't be Send/Sync for some inscrutable reason. Or something about pinning a future.

Ive also seen this, but not from js but node

I have seen a Java program I wrote terminate with SIGSEGV. I think a library was causing it.

incorrect behavior that doesn’t even have the courtesy to throw an actual error.

To be fair, this can be said of C. A C executable only really forces a crash out when you royally screw up beyond the bounds of your memory. Otherwise functions just return a negative value and calling code that never bothers to check just keep on going.

Golang is similar, slightly mitigated that if you are assigning any return value from a function, you must also explicitly receive an error and you know full well that you are being lazy if you don't handle it. Well unless you use a panic/recover scheme but golang community will skewer you alive for casually suggesting that and certainly third party libraries aren't going to do it that way.

Yep, it's the one starting everything.

And doing nothing else. And still something manages to no be right.

I had to come up with a title, this was it.
It's a cartoon.