This is about self-esteem, not sex or consent. It's not even about his dream, because plenty of people have dreams where they don't get what they want. It's about how he views himself. I'm confused how this post is like, 3-dozen comments about consent and relationships when it's one kid viewing himself through... himself.
Oh yeah, that's an interesting take. I think it depends on how much you believe dreams represent our subconscious. I believe there is a lot of randomness in dreams and that who you are in dreams is not necessarily who you are.
However, you can definitely choose how to frame your recalled dreams in waking life and that's what I was suggesting.
I think that comes down to individual preferences, to be honest. Some people, yeah, want the whole kit and kaboodle of stability before anything horizontal takes place. Others just want to establish an emotional relationship beforehand, while others are fine jumping in straight from the go, so to speak. And I genuinely think every variant is fine, we just have to take people at their word and respect their desires as much as possible, sometimes by letting each other go.
While I'm not all that keen on the concept of testing partners (this coming from someone who can roughly be described as a cishet guy), I do agree that it is a good indicator of both maturity and intent.
Edit: what I mean by my first statement is that I don't think one needs to test their partner with anything. Just be true with yourself, say no when you feel like saying no, say yes when you feel like saying yes, and take what is given as it is given (i.e. no making excuses for them if no excuses are organically evident).
Given it's a dream, there could be some interpretation that the OOP is craving emotional stability.
His own subconscious doesn't even want to have mindless pleasure anymore, but comfort. He denies himself because he doesn't truly want sex, but the stability of deep, emotional contact.
Agreed, I, too, have come to believe that dreams are basically the subconscious' attempts at contextualising significant emotional conundrums or cognitive dissonances, and, if not an indicator of OP's desire for intimacy, it seems to be at least a clear indicator that their subconscious is beginning to be aware of the problem.
Such a pity that so many people who reach this emotional threshold with themselves swing, instead, to shills and bootlickers who just want to propagate any and all forms of unhealthy relationships...