While I'm not all that keen on the concept of testing partners (this coming from someone who can roughly be described as a cishet guy), I do agree that it is a good indicator of both maturity and intent.
Edit: what I mean by my first statement is that I don't think one needs to test their partner with anything. Just be true with yourself, say no when you feel like saying no, say yes when you feel like saying yes, and take what is given as it is given (i.e. no making excuses for them if no excuses are organically evident).
I don't think they meant "testing" them like it's some kind of game, hardly anyone does that and yeah it's fucked up when they do.
It's just, how do they handle it when you say no, do they moan about it and act entitled or just understand you're a human being who doesn't feel like sex literally all the time. That's a real good piece of evidence to how this person actually views you and their relationship to you.
Fair point, may be a cognitive bias of mine. Once burnt, twice shy and all that. I apologise for misunderstanding, and thank you for pointing it out! Truly!
And, yep, 100% behind you. I'd say compatibility in general shows best when dealing with unpleasantness, because being couch potatoes together will always be the lowest common denominator, so to speak.
Given it's a dream, there could be some interpretation that the OOP is craving emotional stability.
His own subconscious doesn't even want to have mindless pleasure anymore, but comfort. He denies himself because he doesn't truly want sex, but the stability of deep, emotional contact.
Agreed, I, too, have come to believe that dreams are basically the subconscious' attempts at contextualising significant emotional conundrums or cognitive dissonances, and, if not an indicator of OP's desire for intimacy, it seems to be at least a clear indicator that their subconscious is beginning to be aware of the problem.
Such a pity that so many people who reach this emotional threshold with themselves swing, instead, to shills and bootlickers who just want to propagate any and all forms of unhealthy relationships...
I think that comes down to individual preferences, to be honest. Some people, yeah, want the whole kit and kaboodle of stability before anything horizontal takes place. Others just want to establish an emotional relationship beforehand, while others are fine jumping in straight from the go, so to speak. And I genuinely think every variant is fine, we just have to take people at their word and respect their desires as much as possible, sometimes by letting each other go.