Polyamory - a woman who hadn’t been taking on new partners started dating me. My other girlfriend’s husband began awkwardly pursuing her with no grace or finesse. It got awkward. An acquaintance learned that I was dating the second woman (who had also only recently gotten back into the scene), and began pursuing her.
It’s like some guys think that because a woman is available to one (well, two or three), she’s available to all. It felt very much like blood in the water to a shark.
I agree, but there's is also the reallity that if you have no hobbies and no passions other than gooning you're going to come off as pretty uninteresting and boring to most people. Some would call that being low-value
I've learned from my female friends that the bar for men is so fucking low. Basically shower regularly, listen to what other people say, know how to keep your home relatively clean and don't be a creep and you're immediately in the top 30%
They choose to be low value when they get bitter about their assumption they are low value.
I'm glad I had someone I wasn't attracted to pursuing me early on because it led to the realization that giving in to that bitterness would just seal my fate when I was feeling down about rejection. Part of the bitterness was wanting someone to say, "hey, no, that's not the case" and date me to make me feel better, but from experiencing the other side of it, I knew there wasn't anything she could have done to make me into anything other then friendship and the more she pushed, the less I'd be sympathetic, not the other way around.
Things didn't turn around right away when I realized that, but it was an important part of the "don't be unattractive" rule. There's more to it, of course, but being whiney and bitter is pretty unattractive to most people, I'd guess.
Others can decide over your value inside their own socials context, which lead to the value-judging person and their peers to act accordingly towards you.
If you apply this value to yourself or reject it and if other contexts and groups adopt the value is an other story.
lol so basically the premise of incelibacy is that there is a hierarchy of men (hence all the "alpha" or "beta" shit".) What you are was given out at birth (so yay, biological essentialism). they believe some traits highly valued by women (height, beauty, etc) and these were handed out at birth. If you are short, or slight, or bulky, they believe that no one can find you attractive (the black pill), no matter what other traits you cultivate. They are convinced no one might have any other taste, they have to look like Chris Hemsworth. So imagine a scale with Chris Hemsworth at the top, and everyone who doesn't look like that having "low value."