Is this “normal bratty” behavior or a sign of a mental health condition?

Someone I know shows stuff such as:

constantly needing a scapegoat
shifting blame/cannot take accountability
exaggerated mindset, often where other people are useless and they are the greatest
has to maintain a very positive public image, such as being the absolute best
does not have empathy unless it involves them or impacts their image in some way, if their image is supposed to be empathetic they will act so because of their image
lacks empathy for people in pain/bad mental health/etc. but their image might be very upset about that
will often be very nice to people in any sort of power

I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious if I should help, and maybe that even if they exhibit negative behaviors, they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.

35 comments

First, I want to point out how much I HATE when people throw around the term narcissist for any general run of the mill asshole.

That being said, this person sounds like a narcissist.

Reminds me of my mom. And it took me about 30 years to figure that one out! Like you said, "they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me." It's not easy to give up on someone that you are close to. Especially when, that other person is NOT MENTALLY ABLE to know that they did something wrong. They are shocked that you would overreact in such a way, after all that they've done for you! And they'll remind you of the time YOU messed up, and besides, it wasn't their fault anyway, you misunderstood/ can't take a joke / shouldn't listen to those liars who told you that.

There's no hope here. Only pain. You can never show them the light, if you try to explain how they hurt you, they'll get upset because you're "being so mean to them". And by the end of that conversation, you somehow end up apologizing to them. And wondering how the hell you ended up in this situation AGAIN.

Trying to teach them how to feel regret or guilt is like trying to teach someone paralyzed from the neck down how to walk. They just can't do it, and insisting that they could if they just listened is just going to piss everyone off.

Hope my ramblings helped some. I'm sorry you're in this position.
- People with NPD have to see they have an issue and want to change. Most never do
  
  I'm convinced they are unable to. They don't choose to ignore it, their mind never lets them know.
- ME TOO, tbh. Or “bipolar” for anyone who changes their mind a lot. I’m sorry you knew someone like this 🫂
Sounds like a perfect personality. Presidential material, even.
Based on what I’ve seen, they sound like they could have narcissistic traits. They do sound a bit spoiled but I think it’s more than that. I’m glad you care besides their mistreatment of you/others
They're a narcisistic psychopath. You need to cut that person from your life.
- Agreed. This is not normal teenager behavior
  
  Oh, adults do it too. It's just as bad with them.
- I don’t thibk you can call them a psychopath as the onpy thing they are describing is NPD
You are literally describing narcissism. If they are incredibly important to you then you can hope they decide to pursue cognitive behavioral therapy but IRL you cannot make them fix this. Behavioral disorders are very hard to confront especially NPD because the person with it rarely sees the issue.
- nothing they do is ever their fault, and what I do is never good enough for them
- so this is just like textbook narcissism and not just an asshole?
  
  Having a diagnosis doesn't excuse their actions. At best it explains them.
  
  No one can diagnose someone on the internet but the things you list do seem to paint a rough sketch of a narcissist. Thing is, people can have narcissistic traits and still not meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.
  
  But it doesn’t really matter. The person you describe sounds like someone to be avoided, regardless of whether or not they qualify for NPD.
  
  Im not a shrink but it seems like it. Like I said if it isn't someone you are close to and have to have in your life I would move on.
  
  If this is your actual problem rather than someone else then you need to talk with a therapist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy. That road is long and difficult but you might end up happier after a few years.
  
  That's not narcissism, don't take diagnoses from people in comment sections.
  
  This is a severe self-esteem issue that manifests itself as inflated ego.
- yeah, makes sense.
I'd like to link two vids from a youtube channel which depicts neurodivergent behaviour in an accessible way. Note that these most definitely are not check lists or a diagnostic tool

Pixie-gags Sociopathy & Narcism
One of my friends acts almost exactly like this.

He is not an awful human being, but he isn't the greatest either.

I've learned that he has to reach conclusions on his own and will seldom accept advice or constructive criticism. Sometimes it takes literal years for him to come to the same reasonable conclusion to a problem that I offered to him.

He is a brat. The culture he came from allows the eldest male in the family to act out however they want because they will become the leader of the family later on. So it's best to let them do what they want in fear of later retaliation.

But seriously...he is an entitled brat. Love the dude, but reality just hits him differently.
Ffs go look at this poster's history. If this post is about anyone, it's probably themselves.
- They just seem like a young teen who posts advice. Maybe OP’s friend is Trump
- I don't see where you're getting this. All I see are tons of posts from a (inappropriately for social media) young lesbian who only has lesbian and bi friends who need all kinds of advice.
  
  I'm a little surprised no one questioned why one of the young teen lesbian couples is apparently regularly spending the night together such that snoring is an issue.
  
  I’m not sure if they were regularly spending the night or just sleeping over

35 comments