Just a little bit of trolling

At my job there this almond flavored coffee pods that when brewed smelled overwhelmingly almond-y. My cousin works in metal reclamation an they work with a LOT of cyanide, I tell him if he ever wants the day off, I'll get him a pod, all he needs to do is spill that coffee and they'd shut down the entire floor to double check things.

(context if you're lost is that cyanide smells a lot like almonds)

Fun fact, wild almonds have lethal amounts of cyanide, it's only through selective breeding that we can eat them
- Who the hell thought, “OK, so it killed Bill, but I think there’s something here. We just need to keep trying.”
- Okay, but why not just breed the almonds? /j
I was a refrigeration tech in a place that made high end refrigeration equipment. Fun fact, when some refrigerants get too hot, they break down into hydrogen flouride which forms hydroflouric acid when it comes in contact with water, such as the water in your respriatory tract. Acids taste and smell sour. Being that I normally worked with brand new equipment, I had never dealt with burned refrigerant before. This resulted in me wondering why the hell the refrigerant in an RMA machine had a sour smell when purged the lines on my manifold. Like the dumbass I am I wound up smelling a fair bit of that refrigerant trying to identify why it smelled sour before it finally occured to me that I had been practically snorting hydrogen flouride. One hospital trip, a few chest xrays, and an ECG later I wound up being fine. The next day I came back to work to find that my smartass boss had put a bag of sour candy on my desk.
NileRed did a video on how it smells 'chemically' and nothing like almonds. In the US you can buy cyanide without restrictions due to how easy it comes up on toxicology tests so if you have the money, buy it and smell it yourself. He also tasted it too.
- He also tasted it too.
  
  My MSDS says oral LD50 for cyanide is 4mg/kg in rats. So, for an 80kg thats roughly 6 drops of pure cyanide. You can't really buy pure cyanide, but you can get calcium or potassium cyanide. But I'm not very sure if i'm willing to risk about 1/10th of a lethal dose our of curiosity...
cyanide smells a lot like almonds

[21:55] on this from NileRed
- Nile has basically killed his sense of smell from years of smelling chemicals he's made. Don't trust his nose for anything lol

'If you're the kind of guy who's always 'giving people a hard time,' please know you're the most draining sort person to be around, and people are actively avoiding you.'

Depends, there are some people who give others a hard time and are absolute blasts to be around.
There are also others where you wish they'd get trapped in an elevator with an energetic puppy for an hour to waste their energy.

Also what's with the apostrophes? I don't really understand what they mean here.
- They're semiquotes.

Bro looks like a fluffy Randall, from Clerks.

Wtf you right?! Weird
I thought it was Mitchell from Mitchell and Webb

How to quickly lose your job.

This guy is why all the safety books say things like "No open fire, or the appearance of open fire".

Mad lad