11mo ago

‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

theonion.com

48 comments

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.
- Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.
- How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha
  
  Hahq tuah
- I want people to send this to him now!
But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.
I love it.
- Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.
  
  Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!
  
  Calm down Canada.
  
  /c/NCD leaking
Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards
They really aren't pulling their punches!
- The whole thing is brilliant. The Onion has been on fire lately.
  
  The ownership changed in April this year and apparently staff was given more freedom what they can write.
I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.
- pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead
  
  That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.
  
  Well don't underestimate the reach of Global Tetrahedron.
  Cover from January 2001: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#/media/File:The_Onion,_January_18-24,_2001.jpg
upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke
- It took me like 15 😭
I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!
Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.
We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)
- The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?
Ted Kazinski?
- You might know him for his academic papers.
  
  Among other works
  
  you joke but this is how he's brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context
  
  And his cake having tendancies
- Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?
  !it's a running gag for the onion!<
  
  I used:
  
  ::: spoiler Tap for spoiler hidden content :::
This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!
I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.
- Naw, they're rooting for Eisenhower.
- He's all the buzz on AIM right now.
- "'The Onion'" is literally in the headline.
- Never heard of the Onion before?
  Edit. Oh Jesus, I looked at their comments. Insane nut job mascot.
  
  Oh jeez I wished I didn't look. Definitely just an account that only gets downvotes.
- No, but you sound like you might be. A Trump supporter blatantly incapable of absorbing the information right in front of him. Typical.
- Why would you insult America's Finest News Source?
Hell yeah I'm writing him in
- You've clearly not been following their Israel/Gaza headlines. They've absolutely been on fire.
- Have you read the article?
  
  I was told there would be no fact checking
  also fuck the mods

48 comments