"Now, son... thats not going to work, what you need to do is keep doing that every day when she isnt here and eating clean until you turn 18 and show your sisters friends no interest at all just walking around without a shirt on."
I'm a school bus driver. Last week a 13yo middle schooler tried to impress a girl by running after my bus after I dropped them off and grabbing the bumper. Middle schoolers are some serious fucking dumbasses, but this move surprised even me. Even more surprising was the girl actually being impressed by his asphalt faceplant.