Ohh, it's the deep burn. Oh, it's so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting.
I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
"one, two, th..."
*Girl walks in *
"...Ninety-nine, one hundred"
He will randomly remember that memory one night at bed in his thirties and this will make him unable to fall asleep for the next hour
Edit: I see a lot of cringey memories in the crowd tonight, you're beautiful
Not more than 10 years back.
Yeah, I'm 30 and I have way more recent embarrassing moments to keep me up at night. I'm not thinking of shit I did when I was a kid
I don’t like being called out like this.
"Now, son... thats not going to work, what you need to do is keep doing that every day when she isnt here and eating clean until you turn 18 and show your sisters friends no interest at all just walking around without a shirt on."
I'm a school bus driver. Last week a 13yo middle schooler tried to impress a girl by running after my bus after I dropped them off and grabbing the bumper. Middle schoolers are some serious fucking dumbasses, but this move surprised even me. Even more surprising was the girl actually being impressed by his asphalt faceplant.
Real-life isn't some crappy sitcom
Well played 😄
lol, you fucking dweeb.
