Daily Discussion Thread: 😘😘😘 Tuesday, September 3, 2024

I bought 200g of olives to make with pasta.

I got home and realised they were not pitted (they had been slit on the side - but seed still intact).

30 minutes of drudgery later I know I will not make that mistake again.

Thank you everyone who replied to my query about puzzling fam behaviour.

All your insights were so good and helped me understand so much.

Thank you again. 😚😚😚

Any cat people have advice on how to feed a cat wearing a cone? Poor Tommy had a bleedy toe and he's not allowed to lick it for three days.

He's currently walking into things and complaining, and looking sad.

A small plate raised up slightly should help cone-cat eat. You could also try hand feeding him (disposable gloves, for food safety and because cat food is gross).
If possible, try and find a plate and something to place it on that is smaller than the diameter of his cone, so he can get to it. May not even need to raise it, just use a small, flat plate. But raising it up will help if he's cone is large, he might not be able to reach it.
Edit: you could also try something entirely different, such as a sock repurposed to fit his leg, so he can't lick it, but wouldn't need the cone. You could try securing it with a scrunchy. You could also attach the repurposed sock to a body suit (I made one out of the leg of my old leggings), sew the sock onto one of the holes for his leg, and that way no cone, and less likely to come off.
You could also try vet wrap bandages, instead of a sock, it isn't adhesive to fur, just itself, and you could again secure it with a scrunchy.
I keep editing because now I'm going full mcgyver on this haha
- Thanks! I will try a raised plate first because yes, cat food is gross and I'd just as soon not deal with hand feeding. But if we have to we have to.
If you get some coban tape (stretchy adhesive manage stuff) could you cover the paw so he can have some cone free time to eat? And some of those dine squeezy treats could work as a supplemental thing, you don't want him to go off his food. You can also get a soft collar that can squish up when he bumps into things.
- Thanks! I'll look into coban tape. Squeezy treats have already been administered!
  Apparently because it's his front paw, a soft collar will be too easy for him to get around. But it's only a couple of days, and he's already happier.
Poor Tommy :(
Edit: I had the suggestion of a neck donut but since it’s his front paw and cats are stretchy… probably not
The bandage idea is a good one but they have it off fast. A baby sock over that might mean the bandage lasts .5 seconds longer.
Maybe he can take his cone off for 5 minutes for a supervised meal and it goes right back on before he can attend to his toe!

It is a bit cliche, but I just bought myself a typewriter. I am ridiculously excited to get it.

- This is exactly what I'm going to write first up.
- All work and no play make Homer something something...
- I learned on one of those things, only it was a manual. Its amazing how strong your littlest finger gets after a bit. On the plus side, smashing the carriage return lever is such fun.
The OG of mechanical keyboards 💜
I've always been interested in whether they make a difference. It has to feel like a middle ground between writing by hand and using the computer
- I don't think it would be fast enough for writing a story (for me). But I hope to use it for smaller things. Give it a personal touch. Like thank you letters to schools.
  And award winning speeches...lol
- Best of the best was the Selectric II - the best production typewriter ever. I got typing speeds in excess of 145 words per minute on one of those things with good accuracy. Mind you, copy typing legal briefs was an excellent way to train up my fingers. The actual keys were lovely - had a dip in the middle that really helped you not miss-hit it. No such thing as autocorrect, so fixing a mistake took a lot longer than getting it right the first time. Modern computer keyboards are nothing like as user friendly, so all the magic auto correct aids are needed to produce readable text. Actual speed I reckon is about the same as a modern computer keyboard. It's finger dependent and brain dependent not mechanics dependent.

ok, I need the collective wise mind of the dt to help explain this weird behaviour

my MIL insists on visiting her sick son in hospital every single day, sick son, my BIL, has had terrible cardiac disease which required many months in hospital

So MIL would visit every day. She's not a caring person, If someone is sick she says, "I don't like that you/they are sick. " She doesn't do any actual tending. She is narcissistic , diagnosed.

Her visits became a burden on the son and the doctors told her to stop coming as son needed undisturbed rest. She still went to visit.

I just can't figure what she got out of it. Why did she do it?

She impeded his recuperation. Her visiting usually meant no one else could visit as visiting was restricted. She complained about going.

If the goal was to make people think she was nice and caring it didn't work.

maybe she need reassurance from her son ( yes, that is fucked up )

I am at a loss as to why she did it.

It's narcissism, that's it. It isn't rational to us because we don't place ourselves at the centre of everyone else's universe.
It is important to her that she feels she is right and doing good. Doing something she thinks she is supposed to, against Drs orders, means she gets to feel like a victim, a bullied mother being forced to stop seeing her sick son. She did it because she gets validation about the whole ordeal.
- against Drs orders, means she gets to feel like a victim, a bullied mother being forced to stop seeing her sick son.
  that never occurred to me
  I am such a naif
  I was thinking from the point of view of the patient
  She would really think she was being bullied/is a victim ? I am gobsmacked.
Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance...
Attention-Seeking Behavior...
Lack of Empathy...
Exploiting Others...
Ticks a few NPD boxes there. Very rough on the BIL. Have a few in my fam and it's basically hitting your head against a brick wall :( Feel for you guys, not easy.
- Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance…
  So she is so important everyone must want her presence and she will bestow her presence on those she deems worthy ( or can exploit )
  Her visit is more important than anyone else's. Does not matter to her other people couldn't visit
  she know better than doctors or just doesn't care
Echoing others' remarks about narcissism. Some people have such a shallow perception of goodness that they feel they tick the Virtuous And Hardworking box through nakedly surface level actions. They cannot see how those actions might not actually be what the other person wanted. That's not a consideration. That might as well be particle physics, sure it's real and governs every aspect of our existence, but too much intricacy for day to day life
My father was like this. It's to keep up a charade maybe. Both for herself and anyone that asks.
She can convince herself and others how much of a martyr she is. How much it impacts her to go everyday, but by God she goes anyway!
You get the idea.
- She can convince herself
  yes, I got a strong sense of this
Surely BiL can ask for her to not be admitted? And Drs happily lie about things like not being eligible for organ donation if asked. Seems similar to me, no visitors (who are you) permitted
- BIL really did not have the physical or mental energy to ask for much of anything
  and I think the doctors didn't want a fight as it would have been extremely stressful for BIL, and she would have fought if denied entry or was asked to leave
  that's if her meek passive manipulation didn't work
I am not wise but I'll give this a crack.
The Martyr - someone who tries to get sympathy from others when he or she has a problem or too much work, usually when that person caused the problem or chose to do the work himself or herself:
I would bet my arse she has told EVERYONE how she must visit her son because nobody else has. Poor me.
Secondly. She doesn't want to miss out on anything that is said by doctors or staff.
- Yeah this is my vibe too. Sorry. That's super shitty behaviour
- I would bet my arse she has told EVERYONE how she must visit her son because nobody else has. Poor me.
  For sure.
  No one else could go because he was only allowed one short visit a day 😡 A few times I had to go to bring things but couldn't actually visit.
  she never brought him anything he needed, that was still left up to other people
  Secondly. She doesn’t want to miss out on anything that is said by doctors or staff
  Agreed.
  And yet she ignored the doctors advice on what would be good for son.
She sounds churchy.
- It's def important to her that people think she is spiritual.
  To her not being spiritual is an insult, so she calls other people not spiritual is she doesn't like them/is angry.
Just for more context, has she been asked why she visits every day and what her answer to that is?
- Yes, she has been asked.
  She said she should, no reason given That's all she said.
  When told the doctors said not to she just ignored what we said, just like how she ignored the doctors.
  I think it's possible he was a captive audience.
  I don't care , I'm just curious/puzzled.
Would like to think through this one in detail - does sound weird on first impressions. Will respond later.
I can tell from the answers who has suffered a narcissist in their life. It’s hard to get your head around, because their behaviour is so confounding to a normal person. The thing that finally clicked for me, is for every behaviour, you have to think how is this about the narcissist. It’s about no one else. They seek adoration, admiration, power, control, status, attention. Constantly. It’s never about you, it’s ALWAYS about them. They feel bitter inside if they don’t get these things. They seek to manipulate situations so they can satisfy their needs. ‘Woe is me’, ‘look how devoted I am’, ‘I’m the most important’ etc could all be motivators. And probably others, that I can’t get my brain to think of, because to a regular person it’s baffling that a person might do something detrimental to a seriously ill person, for their own glory and control. Has nothing to do with the BIL. He’s just a convenient tool. I am so sorry this person is in your life. It’s hard.
- I have suffered terribly at the hands of narcissists and I still have so much trouble understanding what is going on. Still naive.
  You wrote "Constantly." I think that is what I need to really remember, it's 24 hours a day and every situation for them because it's who they are, in a way they can't help it.
  Every word, every action. They believe in nothing except themselves.

Arts Tasmania have writing awards open for submissions and I submitted 3 stories (2 of my kids horror and one unpublished one). The likelihood of winning is slim, but I can't help think about what winning might do for my bonafides. And then I start thinking about what I'd say as an acceptance speech.

I've always had that habit of thinking about everything that could happen if things turn out as desired (rarely ever do). It's something I wish I could do and then forget about until the time comes up.

Does anyone else do this though? Plan for something and then get excited/think about the possibilities? I feel like I jinx myself by doing it.

Does anyone else do this though? Plan for something and then get excited/think about the possibilities? I feel like I jinx myself by doing it.
yes. very much so.
Also we expect a call out in your acceptance speech. "and to the daily thread, who have always been there to support me" 🙃
- Lol. I will ensure to include you all.
First up: good luck!!! Put out positivity!!
Second: yessss, I am a shocker for it. My bf casually mentioned it'd be fun for us to do some streaming last night and sure enough, I was then in the shower thinking about how fun it would be to be a streamer with, like, hundreds of people in chat and interacting and what we might do. Urg. It is great fun being a dreamer though, I wouldn't change it!
- Thank you!
I tend to be the opposite - I think of all the ways that whatever I'm doing is doomed to FAIL and all the possible consequences of that and how I'll cope.
Very rarely am I wrong.
But that said, GOOD LUCK! Is there anywhere we can vote/help or is it purely based on judge's decisions?
- Thank you!
  Winners are decided by judges from my understanding.
Of course I think about possibilities and get excited, that's all about why I make decisions.
Possibilities are part of the reasons behind making decisions.
- I guess I mean really going in depth. Like if I won this, I can add it to my credentials. I will be [x award winner], and I can use it to boost myself. And then how if lucky someone will notice it and it will go big and viral and I become world famous.
  Rather than 'it would be awesome if I won,' and then forget about it.

In true Melbourne fashion I was freezing in the morning, overheated on the drive home, now freezing again. Damned if I'll switch the heater on though, I'm having a shower and retiring to bed instead!

I've finally installed a Lemmy app on the iPhone. Without an app I kept not coming here unless I was on a computer. I don't know which one is the best so I picked mlem which looks pretty decent so far.

Ding ding coming to you live from the 11 tram!

I use Jerboa because of it's lack of advertising.
- I haven't seen any ads on this one yet. Maybe they're coming...
- I use jerboa too. Sometimes it takes a bit to connect but that's probably a mobile service issue rather than an app issue.
Voyager is my Lemmy app of choice on iOS, it mimics Apollo's layout which was my go to Reddit app. Hasn't failed me yet!

I finally got the last document needed to complete my tax return today 🙂 It is now complete, submitted and I just have to wait for my return 💰

Finished work and was absolutely exhausted when I came home.

Had a wash and turned on the heater and fell asleep in bed for an hour and a half I think.

Tuesdays are so full on. Thankfully tomorrow will be a lot less eventful at work and I can focus on some light manual labor so to speak.

🍵🍰
💺🥃
- I might do that tomorrow. Get a cheap bottle of pink moscato and chill on Thursday and Friday in front of the footy.
  Go cats!
Tuesdays are often my big day too. Although I must've stolen your energy today as I surprisingly actually had enough to whip up dinner, even roasted some fennel. Sorry about that, I'd share my dinner with you if I could!
Good thing tomorrow lets you have some recovery time. It makes a difference knowing you have some breathing space after a big day.
- The main thing though is we both got through it!
  Now to think about some dinner as well and veg out for the rest of the night.

Alright. Experiment: running to the gym at lunchtime. Will I end up feeling good, or fucked beyond recognition?

I brought a towel so I can have a shower afterwards.

Let's see how it plays out.

good luck! Gotta find time for this stuff where you can.
It's 9 hours later, hoping you ended up feeling good and not fucked beyond recognition!

Oh this is almost too good to be true: scary shit

verification

If Nasa called you and said "We want to send you up, BUT we can only do it on a Boeing spacecraft" you'd say "No thanks!"

It's like the beginning of an Arthur C Clarke novel playing out in real life...
- apparently its stopped doing it. But man i woulda sealed the hatch and used the arm to yeet that thing outta orbit faster than you can say 737 max 8.
I hope they have an inanimate carbon rod for protection.
- Stupid rod getting all the glory.

😭😭😭 😡😡😡

apple fucked up my music library, again, 😭😭😭

all the live albums, anything not bought with apple , all the special releases, everything moved to cloud which I do not use

fuck apple, so sick of them

this is why we buy cds and vinyl

I really am being a sook about this

I'm an MP3 man. iPods and the iTunes requirement kept me outta the apple ecosystem.
this is why we buy cds and vinyl
Nah fam, this is why we have Navidrome and internet
- have you ever moved country? if you change address they ( eg apple or amazon ) delete your library because of copyright
  they can't delete a physical album
  I lost about 1000 albums
  ( i might do navidrome when i get new puters and stuff of my own, even then, so much of what we use is reliant on electricity supply 🤷‍♀️ )

I am outside and I can just stand here without blowing away. I'm not even wearing concrete shoes. It's quite nice. So quiet.

Morning everyone. I remember seeing no rain on the forecast for today, but it can't get to warm today with how yesterday was, right?

26 on Friday though?
- apple is only showing 22 and rain for Friday.

new achievement unlocked: The ability to give The Look over the phone.

^{*A lot of systems are offline in vic are we having issues gee boss I don't know why would a lot of systems be offline in victorian sites would you like me to tell you about the fucking rabbits lenny?*}

yay, I finished the display cabinet and loaded most of my shells. The biggest one, a baler from Western Australia couldn't even fit, and my boxes and books won't fit either. So in the big dresser they go

will get a better pic during the day , but this is it for now

I really wish that fingernails and toenails weren't a thing. Thankyou for coming to my TED talk

overt menses
very few mammals have them
why us 😢 causes nothing but misery and anaemia
we don't need overt menses to have ovulation cycles and ready uterine walls
- also, crowded teeth and hair loss can get in the bin
For your next talk could you please expand on (a) armpit hair and (b) feet, in general? Can we have proper prehensile feet like chimps or just something less fiddly rather than this annoying in-between thing
What else would I clip on the tram?
- Ear hair.
The little toe claws are bastards.
Fingernails - I like. I have realised over the years that mine are a great health indicator. If I'm doing well they are strong as, grow neatly and are nice and pink. If the randomly start to catch and break/split I am getting sick.
Toenails - I don't think about until the little bastard grows and pokes into the toe next door and then I clip them
Thank you for listening to my rebuttal.
(That one weird face hair that isn't there and then grows an inch overnight. It can get in the bin)

Morning everyone. The birds are tweeting and the sun is up. 🐦🎶🌞

Good night everyone. Sweet dreams. 😘

Just me, or is the mobile network in the city kaput? Best I've been able to get is H+. Am on Telstra network

- lol so complete outage? Sure glad we're decoming 3g hey.

Pakige day! My new kitchen sponges are on board for delivery. I'm pretty sure I bought more interesting things too, I just can't remember what.

I love the paraylmpics for their modified sports. I stayed up watching blind soccer. Argentina v Colombia. It was fast, aggressive, interesting. Scores 0 - 0.

How nice, Mr. Jingoism from last week is back again today, and is talking to our supervisor on the phone going on about how he has the chills and doesn't feel really good and probably picked up something from the childcare (and this person has stacks of leave entitlements), thanks for making the rest of us sick too mate...

Beep Beep 🚚
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋

Yay. I have yet another key 🙄

Our old back gate in the backyard was on the same binding as our front door, so I could just use my front door key on it. But he changed that, and also installed a lock on the front gate in the front yard (and will install another on the side gate between the yards eventually, but the wood needs to be replaced first). So I now have another key for that.

I now have 11 keys on my keyring, although 3 aren't needed anymore because the padlocks have been removed, and 2 are for my bedrooms which don't currently have locks. So I can remove those for now

I think I pulled a muscle or something while I was under the house yesterday. My sides are super sore

No tickling for you then.
- I don't reckon there's gonna be much for me over the next few days, my legs are a bit battered as well

After struggling to locate eye(lid)primers I found Nude by Nature, Milani and Barry M at Priceline in Bourke Street.

As UD is usually my holy grail, this is going to be interesting.

Of the drug store lines Milani have excellent products as they have a high percentage of pigment and good coverage. 👍
- Nice to know. My evening go-to is usually dark/bold, but I take a very long time to go through a palette. I only have a few and they’re still too much.

I only wear those kinds of bras when I go out looking fancy. Otherwise I wear the crop top ones that slip over the head. Much more comfy and last heaps longer.
- They don’t tend to be great for me. They tend to pinch/squeeze in the band (I need adjustable hooks) and not support much. I gotta say enshittification of clothing and not much chance to shop in person is doing a number on me.
  It would be fine if I still had energy to sew but here we are.
squishmallows are awesome . I have one as a pillow, so soft. Mr Seagoon teases me because it's so silly
with bras I try to find a brand that has good cuts and I stick with them . warner is good
I need new clothes but I'm not buying until i lose weight
- I had a favourite brand/model but the cut got changed for the worse and now I no longer buy it. Never found a replacement that’s worked well. It’s a shame.
  I also really need new clothes after not shopping for so long but am restricting it to occasional cheap junk pieces just to fill a gap. Waiting til I become more able to sort out something proper, and also waiting for when I’m not stressing as much about needing to save the money for large unexpected bills.

Jobs that have a lower cognitive demand than uni but higher cognitive demand than retail?

I fear I need direct instructions but not to the point of monotony.

Admin jobs. Requires the chutzpah to insist on people following procedures. Most admin jobs are about corralling information so you can find it again. Plus some phone skills. And you learn real quick how to drive printers and photocopiers etc. And the intricacies of the bowels of Australia Post and courier companies. This could actually be a turn off. But the skills come in handy almost anywhere.
Most grad jobs really. And there's no homework. That actually makes a huge difference, or it did to me. It's not hanging over you the whole time.