Showerthoughts @lemmy.world baggachipz @sh.itjust.works 2mo ago

I know Mormons can't have alcohol, but couldn't they just dip their tongue in a glass of beer and not move it?

No licking!

39 comments

I have family in Utah and there's a pretty common joke in this vein.

Why do you always invite two Mormons to a party?

Because if you only invite one they will drink all your beer.
- Jews don’t recognize Jesus.
  
  Protestants don’t recognize the Pope.
  
  Mormons don’t recognize each other in wendover
- That was the joke about Baptists in my hometown. It was impossible to only invite one since everyone knew everyone's families.
They could also use the poophole loophole.
A tampon soaked in Vodka and inserted anally gets you drunk fast.
At least that's what a friend told me.
- But then some alcohol might get on your magic underwear and then you’re just a run of the mill sinner again
- I've heard it called God's blind spot before but poophole loophole is a great phrase
  
  The poophole loophole usually means something different. They say anal sex doesn't count as "losing your virginity." So they can have all the premarital sex they want, as long as it's in the pooper.
- JD Vance on the stump in Utah: “Tim Walz wants to get your kids drunk with ass tampons”
- You could skip the tampon and just boof it.
  
  I’ll bet you could even get a Supreme Court justice to help with that maneuver.
- Okay. I can’t tell if you’re serious, but if that’s true, how does that work medically?
  
  Don’t liquids get absorbed through the intestines? Can you even stick something up your butt far enough to reach your intestines?
  
  It’s capillary action. It just rams straight into your bloodstream, no dilution or waiting to go through stomach. It’s fast and effective.
  
  Additionally to what others have said it's also quite dangerous. You can drink a fatal amount of alcohol but your body will generally puke before it absorbs enough to kill you.
  
  Using this method (boofing), you don't have that defense, it's absorbed too quickly and your body doesn't generally shit itself to expel poison.
  
  Alcohol gets absorbed by mucus membrane much faster than by going through your digestive tract. And your anus is lined with mucus membrane.
  It was a craze a decade or so ago where I live, cause teenagers did that to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol, and some of them ended up in the ER.
  
  Colon is part of your large intestine.
  
  This literally was a trend in alternative swiss youth a decade or so ago, it works well and fast, straight into the blood 😂
  
  you've never boofed ketamine?
- How gaped does your ass have to be to easily insert a soaked tampon.
  
  Are your dumps really smaller than a tampon? If they aren't, why do you think your hole would need to be especially gaped?
Its called...soaking...don't Google that
- We know.
You need someone else to shake the glass
This is the type of thinking that could be the next soaking or jump jumping at BYU.
- That's the joke.
  
  I see this so often now, I can't tell if people are honestly that dense or they're intentionally pretending to be. In the spirit of Fry and Andy Dwyer, I'm not sure I want to know the answer.
They need a friend to jump on the bed
it's called soaking and they already know about it lol
- thatsthejoke.jpg.co.uk

39 comments