I can't speak for other kids, but being honest with mine seems to work pretty well. "Why do I have to put away the dishes?" "Because if you don't, we won't be able to wash the dirty ones and then we'll get roaches. Do you want roaches? No. So put away the dishes."
Yeah, that's the tack I'm taking with mine. No sense in lying because it's not good for your relationship, and I can't be bothered to keep track of a bunch of lies.
In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.
Oof, that seems a bit much to me. Does she tell stories about the bogeymen or Baba Yaga, too? I'd rather my child be concerned with the actual consequences for their actions rather than the imagined ones
There's some research that says Santa, the Easter bunny, etc. are good for teaching kids skepticism. Plus it's fun. I'll often move their stuffed animals so it looks like they were doing something when the kids are asleep so they can get a little bit of magic
But, threatening with Santa is actually bad parenting because #1 it's a bit traumatic of a threat but #2 they'll figure out damn fast that you're bluffing. Never threaten a punishment you aren't prepared to dish out (and never dish out a punishment you wouldn't feel comfortable explaining to the kid as an adult)
Yes, I agree, a terrible parenting strategy. Also fuck elf on the shelf, since the whole book is about how the elf is Santa's spy and you can't question or touch it. I'm pretty sure this is what gave her the awful idea.
Not at all, but I'm also not stumped by having the sink full so much that I'm literally not capable of washing the dishes lmao. A kid might believe that since kids are fucking idiots but not an adult, surely
I love how this has got you absolutely stumped. You can pick stuff from the sink and put it out of the way. You can pile it on the goddamn floor if you need to. Whether your kid puts the dishes away or not is actually what allows you to wash the dishes. You could also move them. But you say the kid needs to do that so you can wash the dishes (even though you could wash them without it). It just makes it more convenient. See what I mean?
It's "got me absolutely stumped" because we have a small kitchen and a small sink. There's no room. We could put them on the floor, but we have dogs. Conceivably we could do something like put all the dishes on a shelf in the living room and come and get them one by one to clean them. Maybe you think that would teach my daughter something, but other than 'my parents are doing something silly when we could just use the dishwasher,' I don't know what it would be.
Could it be that you don't know my situation because you've never been to my home?
It takes a lot longer to wash if you go that route. If you don't have enough time for that, then you can't do it without foregoing your other responsibilities. That qualifies as "can't". It's a lie as much as telling elementary school kids that the sky is blue is a lie. We simplify things because kids don't have the ability to follow all the complex interactions between everything going on in their lives.
I'm not sure if the term "gaslighting" fits here. This just seems like run of the mill lying and manipulating.
Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.
Gaslighting would seem like it'd be more that if they knew weekends were a thing befohand then you'd lie that they imagined it all (and that they might even be crazy for having thought that).