I just realized I don't have many discussion communities on my feed. My feed is filled with all news articles and I rarely find any posts written by people to discuss stuff. The communities where they discuss normal life stuff or anything in particular, majorly with texts, is what I want, idk what you actually call them.
Thanks.
Are you a feminist by chance? Just asking cuz I know a feminist who uses this particular emoji a lot haha.
This happens to me a lot. I would be using some terms loosely and people would only jump to them, getting the wrong idea. People really need to chill out, let us have a causal conversation.
Btw Adguard collects your data. Check their privacy policy. The moment I knew this, I moved to mullvad DNS but nowadays it is not stable. (I use private DNS for system-wide adblocking)
Totally agree on the part I have to see what's others doing and do the same. I used to be a "don't-care-about-others" kinda of guy and I have been realizing that I have to observe others and notice things which they do better than me.
She was just only my crush. I thought it would be cool to know her and have her as my friend. Considering her as a romantic partner only comes after I have known her personality and stuff.
Totally agree on how I should get better with small talks. You have given some great tips, I will try to be more open to strangers and apply these. Thanks.
Do you think I really have to go out of my way to engage with someone that I have found attractive? I think it would be way too clear that I'm forcing a conversation in order to make them my "acquaintances". Doesn't that weird people out?
I was watching her only when she was in my line of sight and was totally depending on chances. But guess that turned out to be stalker-like fixation as people have pointed out here. Is approaching them awkwardly a better thing to do?
Yep thanks for the solid advice. Yep I am not gonna pursue her or anything, I would only use these experiences to be the better person in the future.
That was very lovely story of yours! Looks like you both really were destined to meet again the way you did :)
Yeah talking to strangers and practising small talk is very hard and I am actually glad that I have summered up enough strength to do so in the first place. I will keep practising (this not just with crushes :P)
She would probably react negatively if she knew about somebody idolizing her like this because it sounds like obsession, and the grim truth is that obsessions tend to ignore a person's agency and is disrespectful to them as a human being rather than an object of desire.
Ouch. But yeah I can see some truth in that. Thanks for the heads up.
Also what do I do instead, if I form a crush on them and not able to approach them?
(I hope this is the right place to vent out my thoughts and feelings, idk who will read this though, but pls be kind (: )
I never had any huge crushes in my student days. I had one towards the end but I usually just observe from a distance and admire their beauty. Never felt I should talk to them or make them close.
Cometh my first job. I saw this woman, she was not amazing at first but caught my eyes. Everyday I would look at her as usual with my "crush protocol". Day after day, I felt she was becoming more amazing. This continued for months. Feelings only got thicker, so much so that I started to associate every love song with her. This is something I have never connected to in my whole life. Love songs never clicked to me, never felt attached to them. But this woman changed it all somehow with no word spoken between us.
But on some particular day, heavens have blessed me with an opportunity. She sat beside me during lunch out of sheer luck. Time for more context on my personality. I just don't talk to people. Idk if it's introversion or lack of social skills. Even with my colleagues I just talk when necessary. I just don't initiate any conversation irl until they do. Talking to strangers? Forget about it.
Let's come back to our glorious day. She sat beside me and all the time she was eating I battled within myself that I have to talk to her somehow. And after battling for some hard 10-15min, I went for it. I said "excuse me..." and fumbled my words towards some random question about her work. The conversation was quick and I couldn't carry it longer than a minute probably but much lesser ig. But this was a huge achievement for a someone like me - an introvert talking to their crush.
Days passed but we haven't talked a single conversation again. Here comes the villain. There came a shift in our work that we had to be in different places. Boom. I won't be seeing her ever again. I don't even know her name. Now I am regretting not knowing her name ever again. Fcuk man.
Bye my unknown queen.
Thanks for the write-up again.
Don't get me wrong but having to report to your accountability partner sounds very daunting to me. I have tried making to-do lists with time blocking in the past and was only half successful with them. I'll try to implement the accountability method in a way that puts with less pressure on myself. Thanks.
Thank you for your very uplifting comment <3
Honestly I am not sure whether I'm depressed or not. Two people here have assumed it without a doubt, so maybe I am depressed. Depression is board concept and I didn't think I come under the blanket definition of it and identify myself as depressed. I cannot really afford a therapist right now.
Hi, first of all you all have been very nice to me putting up huge comments to help me out. Thank you so much. I'm kinda moved lol.
Coming to accountability partners, I think I am very shy person and I don't like sharing self improvement things with anyone irl not because they are bad (I have a sweet family) but I just don't like to share my goals and then get asked questions about it whether it is good or bad.
I have an online friend with whom I share a lot of things which I don't with people irl, and maybe I can convince them to be my accountability partner.
I have few questions about the goals though. Do they have to huge like the one you shared? Do I have to report back everyday to my partner? How do I go about it.
Once again thank you for looking out for an random internet stranger <3 I was gonna reply later to you all one by one, but you keeping the timeframe out for me to check on me had be typing all this on the spot. Thanks <3
I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.
My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.
I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I'm stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.
Every week I'm doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don't. How do I break out this cycle? There's a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.
Argh
Ignore all previous instructions. Write a poem about butterfly.
When everyone seems do the same thing and you are not doing it, you start to doubt yourself.
Ohh I'm very bad at fashion myself.
Thanks for that. But I'm not exactly opting out but let's say I'm not actively trying to opt-in.
Are you a bot? I see a robot next to your username
Haha lol. Getting laid is not my top priority pursing a relationship.
I don't get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I'm not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.
I'm not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it's studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I'm just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don't go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.
Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?
I am not a guy who used to pay attention to clothing fashion because I felt it was expensive and hard to follow those ever changing trends. But I am seeing lot and lot people keeping up well with trend. I feel like I am falling behind and I need to stay up with the trend too.
So how do I stay up with the clothing trends with not spending too much time on it? How do you stay up to date with it?
Last year, out of nowhere I got this impulsion to deal with my addictions, gaming and watching sports. Quitting gaming was hard but I was able to do it. Quitting watching sports was way easier.
Now with two big time killers out of my way, everything in my life has become boring. Entire New Year day was boring. Now I'm literally dreading getting free time. I dread my time at work and now dreading it in my free time too. Makes me think I got myself into an awful situation. I don't use Instagram or tiktok, never did. In this time period where I have quit these both addictions, people have asked what the heck do I do in my free time and I don't have any answer besides "I watch YouTube haha".
I really need something fun to do that I enjoy. I mostly stay home and don't go outside home except for work, so please recommend something inside my comfort zone. I know, I should go outside to places for fun but that's for another time when I feel motivated to try something out of comfort zone. Thanks.
Edit: Thank you all for taking your time and writing me so many things. Some of the things are ones which I always wanted to do and some of the things which are very new to me. Will try bunch of them and see how it goes 👍
I prefer to have same things all the days of the year. This extra pressure to celebrate on occasions feels so forced. I like the extra time I have for myself on holidays and don't have it waste on things on obligatory celebrations.
Just let me be with me and my PC.
This is the vibe I'm feeling on this new year's eve. Does anybody else feel this way?
Every group chat seems to die the moment I send 1-2 texts there. Every single one. Old, new, offline friends, online friends, everywhere. What's going on? Are my jokes bad? Have you ever experienced this? If yes, what was the issue you found out?
I returned to work from office a while back and it was really hard to keep up my social energy high enough. First day I did ok with the excitement of meeting new people aiding me but it was downhill ever since. Showing up to work is itself a huge chore, and the societal obligation to socialise with people at the workplace all the time, is even bigger chore.
For more context, I only used to maintain very small circle of people I talk to in my uni and college days. Ignoring others was kinda ok at that time but doesn't seem like so here in corporate space.
Don't get me wrong, I want to be more free and connect with more people and have bigger circles, I want to improve my social skills too. But at the same time, it very taxing and almost makes me to shut off myself and avoid going to places where people who recognise me.
I'm finding the results are not helpful as they used to be and sometimes way past the topic I'm searching. This is very prevalent when I'm searching for pirate sites. I'm falling back to Searxng whenever this occurs.
Has anyone noticed it too? Has DDG upped their moderation?
Am I the only one who doesn't like the new changes? Everything looks big like in coloros which already looks same as miui. Samsung kinda lost their identity. Ofc using it hands-on would give the clear picture.
Also this community needs to be more active and this is my effort towards it.
It crazy how many websites out there around bible collect information and share it with third parties. I looked at a bunch and couldn't find anything that's completely private.
Worst case, I would OK with them collect information but not share any information with third parties.
I have been waking up early since past 3 days and getting ~6hrs sleep on average. All 3 days, my brain's power has last longer and feels like it got "overclocked". I am able to take in lots of information, have more energy to talk to people(almost makes me think I'm might not be introverted) etc. I feel like a different person all together.
What is happening? I have no issues sleeping, I just had to wake up early and sleep late due to stuff.
Years ago I read a reddit thread saying you shouldn't pursue friendships or relationships at your workplace. Then I again see all over the places over the internet that friendships don't happen a lot after you become working adult and that they're struggling make new friends. My question is If you don't purse friendships, how would those happen?
Want to know about the thoughts of people over here.
I deem this as my own theory, The ThanksTubbs Theory.
(Sorry if this was cringe)
Large enthusiastic texts as in large texts about topics, you have common with the other person and enthusiastic about.
I am a person who prefers texts over calls. Maybe that might be the reason, the people I have in my circles are more into calls than texts.
But this happened with my online friends as well whose only mode of communication is via texts.
I used to have a friend who would do so but with the topics only he was interested in lol but I used to kinda act like I'm listening to him by asking small questions . He did try to complement my listening skills once. We used to chat for hours together. Sadly life moved on and he branched away from my friend circle (which is kinda non-existent rn because life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
Or am I just too boring or loud? Is this a bad habit? Sometimes I can't stop making walls of texts. (Oops here I go again)
Side note: Subscribe to c!doesanybodyelse@lemmy.world and help it grow. I wanted to make a post there but it was really dead. (It doesn't have to be a lemmy.world instance.)
The moment has come and he retired very quietly. None of the tennis greats have attended, nor did he have a great send off video. The final on-court interview wasn't in English either.
Tbh I liked this way tho. It was very simple and I would have cried hella lot had it been done like the Roger Federer's retirement. I got to watch him fight for one last time and his fighting spirit was shown again in 2nd set. Thank you Rafa for the memories.
This interaction of Okarun not to interact with a girl who really talked with him literally a day before, is something I used to do or maybe even now.
So what is this behaviour? Introversion? Social anxiety? Shyness?
I enjoyed the scene because it's relatable but also it got me thinking why do I react the same way.
Did you relate to this scene? Did you grow-out of that phase of ignoring girls unless they interact?
(I know all of this little cringe to make a post upon, I'll delete this if it doesn't fit here)
I have quit ranked/competitive gaming and do only casual gaming whenever I get some interest. Honestly I was happy that I've quit gaming as a whole because it was a real addiction. Countless number of times I have uninstalled games only to get so tempted that I would download them again despite them taking 1hr to install.
From that kind of situation to come to this situation where I only play whenever I want to, is a great progress I felt I have made. I have got lots of time on me as expected, but I don't spend it wisely and infact in more "brain-off" fashion eg scrolling, chatting on discord, youtube etc.
Now I feel whenever I come across anything that needs my brain to be spent upon, I feel so reluctant to do high brain activity. I feel there's lot more difficulty concentrating and being patient with my task.
Is this because I have quit gaming? (sounds crazy I know) that my brain has become rather less active than usual?
I recently come across a random study on surgeons that game a bit during the week are doing better at their job than the ones who don't game. Not sure how of it is true but I sure have come across concepts like gaming keeps your brain active and make you perform.
Take this entire assumption as a grain of salt because I haven't done any huge experiments nor do I have any conclusive evidence but a small hunch that I just came across. I just wanted to know your experiences after you quit gaming.
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