Thank God there's a standard for USB. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one....

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

So, don't leave male and female cables alone in a dark box!

I did this too and I didn’t get fired. May be it depends on the wording?

Produce my own oxygen. So true. People call me the best oxygenator ever. Did it and will do it again. So true. Best ever.

Race, gender and whatever are "people that are not like me". Jokes about old people are jokes about myself, because I (hopefully) will get old myself one day.

Something more nuanced, like charging for example?

Klar hat die FDP Schuld. Wenn keiner auf den Knopf drückt kann auch keiner über den Knopfdruck berichten.