As an old Perl jockey, you can pry my backticks out of my cold, dead hands.
It sounds like what you are looking for is a form of an object request broker. Provide the name of a class as a string (or, if the set of desired objects is more constrained, an integer or enum or something similar) and then build an instance based on that key. Generally, all these objects typically inherit from some base class like Object so that the broker can return an Object* and the client can dynamic cast it down to the actual thing. I've used a pattern like this in the past that worked pretty well using macro magic to enable classes eligible to be instantiated through the broker (register the key and the class name with the broker). This was pre-C++03, so doubtless there are cleaner and more modern ways to implement such a thing these days.
Actually, these are fucking great. Super outsidery. I'd buy but want to make sure the kids get the bulk of the profits, not the teacher.
This is the shit you feel when you're high
HURRY! HURRY HAAAARRRRRRRD!
My curling peeps will know what I'm talking about.
I just love this. They all legitimately look so happy.
This is super wholesome and I am here for it.
After School Satan Club would be such a great name for a band.
At least the NYT came up with an accurate headline this time.
I believe you can tell Niagara Airbus where to drop you off when you schedule your ride with them. My sister's used them a few times to get from her house in St. Catharines to Person or Buffalo and they picked her up at her place.
Now I have their damn jingle stick in my head. Just 1990s Niagara things...
Moi, quand j'ai vu les 9 lettres de la grille : 😬
J'ai pourtant réussi en trois 😁
The Wang Gang strikes again!
My bad, I just naturally assume everyone knows of this amazing commercial. Go to Google or YouTube and search "Folgers incest" or "Folgers brother sister" and enjoy!
And your brother surprising you by coming home for Christmas from the Peace Corps and getting to fuck him
Thelma Harper from Momma's Family
Damn dude, this is a deep cut.
I actually really like that desktop background.
We need to find out what churches folks like this are being indoctrinated in and forcibly shut them down.
Very disappointing not to see an #if 0 (my personal go-to for decades) in this meme. 😞
The text in the image represents how accurate it tends to be whenever I try to OCR a document.