First of all, it's great that you recognize unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior in yourself. That's a great first step!
That said, a few thoughts:
You're not ready for a relationship - and I don't say this to be mean, but you seem too immature for a relationship, especially one with the added challenges of being long-distance.
Based on your responses to other comments, she is also too immature for a relationship.
You created what's called a 'covert contract' - meaning you had unspoken expectations which is almost a guarantee that the other person will let you down because you didn't communicate with them. Unless both of you agree to plans, you don't have plans.
I think you need to shift your main source of socializing from the internet to IRL. The internet is great and everything but it's not the same a real life, and I worry that too much internet socializing can stunt your real life social skills, making it harder to connect with people down the road.
You sound pretty young so I'm assuming some of this is just young kid angst and will smooth out over time. Good luck!
Your friends sound like more effort than they're worth. What exactly are you getting out of these friendships that would offset the negatives?
It's okay to let people go. You're not obligated to remain friends with them, and you're not crazy or insufferable. Honestly they just sound like low-quality people who add stress to your life.
This looks very slick, but I hope it isn't style over substance like Discovery was. Discovery was terrible but it sure did look nice. I'm keeping my expectations on the floor for this show.
And along the lines of punk, Crass has an album called Penis Envy which was a project by its female members Eve Libertine and Joy De Vivre and is an absolute masterpiece as far as I'm concerned.
If soft acoustic is your thing, check out Humbird - for example, Right On.
Last book I read was Bee Speaker by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I normally love his stuff, and I loved both Dogs of War and Bear Head, but Bee Speaker was awful. Such a disappointment.
Currently I'm reading Old Man's War by John Scalzi.
I'm so stoked, thank you for creating this community!
Today I think I'm feeling a green tea note and I might wear Sci-Fi by Ellis Brooklyn. This fragrance has a strange hold on me, I keep coming back to it. Alternatively maybe I'll go with Valentino's Born in Roma Green Stravaganza.
They're comfortable, super easy to clean, and stay in great condition with minimal effort. My car has cream-colored leather seats with a seat warmer, so they're a comfortable temp in both summer and winter.
Ugly bags of mostly water