I do agree that getting men on board is key to ending the patriarchy, but to be honest it really annoys me that we have to make them see how the patriarchy harms them before they'll give a shit about how it harms us. Society will always cater to men in this way. But we'll never improve how women are treated without the help and support of men.
Oh man. For TV characters there are a bunch. Xena, Buffy, Kira Nerys...I love strong women. And Donna Noble - strong in a different way, likeable and annoying and relatable. Dana Scully for being smart and skeptical.
For real people, I guess I think Marie Curie was pretty badass. Physicist, chemist, female scientist in a time when women were pretty much never taken seriously. Her research into radioactivity revolutionized so much of science and medicine and she did it in the face of soooo much misogyny and xenophobia. She seems like such an interesting woman.
I don't know specifically what you're going through, but I can relate. Perimenopause has been rough. Have a hug (I hope this is the right emoji) 🙇🏻♀️