So many of my iPhone fan friends have said "Oh, you finally made the switch, you're going to love it" after I recently bought my first iPhone.
It's a phone. It did not magically transform my user experience. It's 95% similar to what I had on a Pixel. Better low-effort privacy. Better direct hardware access for music and video. Significantly more lag, app freezups, and fragility and some baffling user experience decisions.
I would switch back again, or not, doesn't matter.
I have an iPhone for work and a pixel that I use privately.
There's like one or two high quality apps on the iPhone that are amazing but that kinda sums up the positive aspects of the iPhone. I absolutely hate the user experience. Android is simply better at this.
But I do agree with you. They're just bloody phones. Do people really still give a shit? I'm actually pretty sick of these phones. The pixel 7 Pro is the first phone that works the way I want it to and I'd like to simply keep on using this phone for the next 30 years if possible because I don't want to spend any more money on these shitty rectangles.
I switched from iPhone to the Pixel a few years ago and I will not switch back. The iPhone feels so slow comparatively, the text selection and keyboard are awful, and good luck using one with your non-Mac desktop. Plus side-loading things like NewPipe kicks ass and I wouldn't want to give that up. But ultimately the best feature for me is on-device sub captions for any speech on your phone. Phone calls, music, YouTube, whatever, you can see captions for all of it. It's a godsend for people who are hard of hearing.