Warren "all you can eat" Buffet

I don't have to chop, stew, dismember, or sell a $5 bill. False equivalency argument.

I know right? Picking up a lost $5 doesnt carry any of those rewarding tasks.
i think you ate the onion on c/theonion lol
My guy, this is the onion
- Yes, I can read. And see where it's posted.
  
  Doesn't mean I can't debunk a theoretical argument.
It's fine. He never said it. He has said he thinks its ridiculous that he gets so much money for doing nothing compared to school teachers while paying less taxes.

His parents were rich and the reason he's more rich is that he exploits lots and lots of people.

Why is he donating 99% of his wealth then?
- If that actually happens then he'll no longer be a billionaire and that will be great. Until then he deserves the guillotine. Say it with me, there is zero reason for anyone to have a billion dollars and if they do the only way they have a billion dollars is by hurting other people. Every penny over a quarter billion (and that's generous), could have been given back to the labor that created it or directly to the supposed charities that he's giving to now. If you trust a single word a billionaire says then you're a fool.
- Hasn't done it yet and even if he does it will be to a charity he and his family will have control of. They'll still control the money and have the power that comes with.
  
  Same with the Patagonia guy and his family. It's all bullshit to make liberals gush over them.

Average net worth for 35-44 year olds $135 thousand his net worth $119.2 billion. $5 equivalent for him is ~$4,414,814.81

If you skinned and sold squirrels at a rate of 7.56 squirrels per second, you'd reach his wealth in just 100 years! All it takes is a little hard work!

They'd also go extinct after 1 year. Maybe switch to rats.
- taking notes How long will the rats last if I maintain that rate?
- You could alternate between rats and squirrels to allow repopulation
- Rats don't have bushy tails, so you'd lose most of the value.
- Even if you don't end up rich, eradicating squirrels is a pretty good consolation prize.
He can buy a super car with less impact on his net worth than you standing there wondering what to get out of the vending machine
Where did you find that average net worth for 35-44 year olds? That seems much higher than I expected. What's the median?
- https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/average-net-worth-by-age

Then they dare to go buy some fucking avocado toast and a mokke lattchiato or whatever the hell, on their fucking bikes with THEIR FUCKING HELMET ON!

Don't buy avacado toast, make it.

Shits cheap af
- I don't get all the love for avacado. It tastes like mild plant butter to me. I save a lot of money by never buying it haha.
Dude literally just find more dead squirrels for avocado toast money, it's that simple
- No, you don't understand the problem with avocado toast. You see, bread is a great source of carbs, and combined with the rind of the avocado, the scraps are a super food that leaves squirrels full of energy and with a thick coat that makes them neigh immortal
  
  When's the last time you saw a dead squirrel ripe for the picking? It was free money

🤣 Thanks for repeating Abraham Lincoln's advice.
- i love how Lincoln has become the de facto one

As someone that's shot a few squirrels for tying flies with, I'd just buy the damn tails. Squirrels are filthy little beasts and have a pile of parasites that crawl off them when they're dead.

You evil bastard. How could you? They're so cute!
- They can be destructive fuckers. And, little known fact, red squirrels are the largest predator of juvenile rabbits.
  
  Tasty, tasty rabbits.

He looks tough but marbled. Stew meat at Best

Squirrels are pretty high in cholesterol.

Now you got a stew goin’

Do we have a vulture culture sublemmy?