Then you have a kid and you spend the rest of your life
228 0 ReplyIf kids are creme pies, and kids grow up to be adults, then we are all creampies.
61 0 Replycreampie goblin
34 0 ReplyYou sure are there, squirt.
16 0 ReplyHAH
I'm lab grown
11 0 ReplyWe are all cream pies on this blessed day
10 0 ReplyIt's an awkward scary part of our life. Fierce competition. Won by pure luck.
Not long after our first breath of air we start regretting our life choices.
8 0 Reply
👌👌👌
10 0 Reply
Socially acceptable, How about this song from the classy 1920s:
"Oh I got nipples on my titties the size of my thumb
I got sumthin' between my legs that'll make a man cum"
I don't remember the last rest of the lyrics but damn what a banger
83 0 ReplyThe magnificent Lucille Bogan
And here's another great one of hers
44 0 ReplyYou left out the part of the lyrics where the man is dead.
24 0 ReplyWell, not anymore
11 0 ReplyDeath by snu snu? Not a bad way to go.
5 0 Reply
sang by Nicky Minaj
16 0 Replyor my girls pussy
3 0 Reply
78 0 ReplyDepends on your social circles I guess.
60 0 ReplyName a social circle where you can use language like in the first example, and it's acceptable.
23 0 ReplyFurry Discord servers
73 0 ReplyFriends who are OK talking about and don't shame you about sex. Also friends who have a sense of fucking humor.
55 0 Replythis one
48 0 ReplyI know several people in the kink community who would congratulate and be enthusiastically happy for someone who said the first, but would only politely say "congrats" to the second.
35 0 ReplyA BDSM munch comes to mind.
23 0 ReplyMy friends and family say this kind of shit all the time, I'm sorry your life is without humor.
6 0 ReplyFurry convention
2 0 Reply
Half of my former social circle would have found the second version unacceptable
2 0 Reply
yes that's what euphemisms are for
45 0 ReplyYou can say anything you want to anyone, but there's usually a better way to say it.
40 0 ReplyI just like that someone is getting laid every night and that is part of their best life. In fact, I assumed the hot messy creampie woman is managing her fertility as she sees fit.
Also jizz is totally a drug. Dopemine, I think.
27 0 ReplyAnd yet the doctor tells me I have to stop snorting jizz because it's "bad for my lungs". Like, ok narc smh
25 0 ReplyThat raises some good questions about how to best absorb dopamine from jizz. I suspect anally is super-effective.
Inhalation of nebulized jizz probably less so, but worth a try.
2 0 Reply
I love when this post/thought pops up because it just outs people who have no idea how pregnancy works.
19 0 ReplyWhat about this is not how pregnancy works, exactly?
25 0 ReplyMostly the "every night" part. There are only about 6 days a month when women can get pregnant iirc. And unless she's getting a random train of dudes, there's pretty significant diminishing returns on repeated loads (not that they hurt, mind you). It's just kind of a childish comparison.
8 0 Reply
For real. Is the stork just chopped liver?
20 0 ReplyAnd no one mentions the clapping shells!
11 0 Reply
"people", in this instance, are evidently you, which is ironically why we need more than half-assed sex ed
16 0 ReplyResponded above but mostly the "every night" bit. That's not how cycles work. Not saying a woman can't be getting constant creampies but that's not exactly automatic when someone is trying for a baby.
2 0 ReplyWhat's genuinely wrong with this for real though? I'm very confused. I have more than enough sex education.
1 0 Reply
I like how it outs all the humorless uptight busybodies personally
2 0 Reply
My wife got pregnant on our first try. Yes, I am that potent.
19 0 ReplyWe live in a susiety.
17 0 ReplyAnd when they do get pregnant I'm the asshole for saying "congratulations on your successful ejaculation!"
13 0 ReplyI'll take girl #1, Pat.
8 0 ReplyYou say: We aren't trying for a baby, but we're not avoiding it either.
I hear: I'm off my birth control and we're raw-dogging like 5 times a day.
5 0 Reply