I’ll be waiting in the car

Ah yes! Three of my favourite reptiles:

Spiders, Centipedes, and Scorpions.

Hey, my favourite three are on there too! Etc, thank you and mgmt.
- MGMT have a good song called 'time to pretend" so i guess that helps the sign make more sense.

Anywhere that casually lists spiders and centipedes along with reptiles is not somewhere that I wanna be.

No trip to Straya for you then.

"Scorpions are my favorite reptile"

(Sarcasm aside, what's so worrying about lizards? Only a couple types are venomous, only a few more are big enough to seriously hurt you (and most of those live in tropical forest sort of places), and anything smaller is probably just going to run away and hide it you get close to it. Lizards are pretty non-threatening.)

I don't know how common it is, but in some very rural parts of Kentucky and Tennessee in the USA, people frequently referred to scorpions as lizards. Also, regular lizards were called lizards. And newts were called lizards.
It was very confusing to me when I was a young kid. Still is confusing to me if I'm being honest.
- That's pretty rural.
  Did your town just have one road named after Bedford Forrest or two?
- I’m sorry are there scorpions in Kentucky?
The majority of spider-related injuries are self-inflicted by people panicking and hurting themselves.
In most lizard-related fatalities, the lizard is the one who is killed

2/5 isn't great. Also why would anyone have to watch out for lizards? I'm doubtful Godzilla is just over the hill

Some lizards such as Gila monsters and Komodo dragons you really don't want to mess with..
- Even an iguana can ruin your day, and the iguana wants to ruin your day.
You say that but Godzilla is one sneaky bastard. In fact, there's a significant possibility that Godzilla is the hill.

One time my pet tortoise bit my big toe thinking it was food and he took an entire chunk out of my flesh. Reptiles are not to be underestimated.

- the webbing between my right thumb and index finger.
  The finger crotch.

I know reptile is a bullshit classification that includes things more closely related to birds than each other, but also it definitely doesn’t include arthropods.

That sign has a reptile dysfunction.

This is the best thing I've read all day.

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start digging holes...

Let me guess, aussie?

Hah no, we don't have scorpions oddly enough. Probably killed off for not being deadly enough.
- Go for a night time bushwalk with a blacklight. You’ll find some of those scorpions we “don’t have”.
- I almost puked my coffee 🤣🤣🤣.
Looks more like Arizona to me
rattle snake is not an Australian variety that I am aware of