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I've had problems with roommates on the spectrum that I rent out to who seem to think that they should ask for explanations of rules as a way of trying to argue. Normally I'd assume they're just trying to be jerks and look for backdoor ways of arguing or "concern trolling," but I'm open to the slim possibility that they don't actually understand or this is their way of trying to discuss it.
They also try to argue and play lawyer games when it comes to guilt. If I see a plate in their room, they're getting fined for eating in there. It doesn't matter if it was someone else because they allowed it.
It occurred to me that they might genuinely not understand what is going on.
You fine people for eating in their own bedroom? The fuck is wrong with you?
This isn't because they're autistic. It's because you're a giant gaping asshole and they truly don't understand your insane rules.
I was about to ask the same question just worded much less strongly. Why do you fine them for eating in their room? If they are renting a room from you they should be able to do whatever they want in there as long as they are not destroying stuff or disturbing you/ neighbours
Could be related to pest issues. If you have problems with mice or roaches, I'd absolutely not even blink at a rule like that. Especially if they're leaving dishes and shit just sitting out on the reg.
If I see a plate in their room, they’re getting fined for eating in there.
I'm not sure that they're the ones with the problem.
Your roommates are not concern trolling. Autistic people generally have a hard time trying to accept rules that don’t make sense to them, and will question why they exist.
To be completely honest with you, the rules you mentioned don’t make any sense to me, either. Are you sure these people are your roommates and not your tenants?
You don’t let people eat in their own rooms that they rent?
Maybe have fewer asshole-ish rules that even “normal” people would find confusing.
YTA
No, it has nothing to do with autism. Any reasonable person would ask about the rules. Autistics will try to remember and follow them, assuming it’s just another thing that they don’t understand. Neurotypicals have probably networked and blackballed you, which is why your tenants (they’re not roommates) are autistic. NTs are also likely more aware of their rights as tenants, and would probably fight back. You’re getting off easy.
You’re also a massive tool, in case that isn’t clear.
Why is the rule there? That is the question you need to think about and does the answer follow a logic or personal path. Is the rule there "just because" or a problem with a previous tenant? Might be time to review the rule.
A no eating in a room might be there to prevent an infestation of bugs, but why should that stop a tidy eater eating in their room?
Does no eating in a room extend to a bag of sweets? Why would you restrict someone from having a snack in their room while watching someone in bed or on their personal devices?
I had a comment up here. I thought I was misreading the part about you fining your roomate. But after reading these other comments..
OP please explain what you mean by that. I assume you don't mean your demanding actual money in these cases. Because as the comments point out thatd be very inappropriate.
With my own roomate if they leave a plate out they'll get a lecture at most. I know they don't intend malace with such things it's just part of their adhd. They'd do better if they could.
I dont know your roommates circumstances, but can't imagine a scenario where not putting a plate away is an act if malace against you.
This
Probably not. Your rules are just stupid if the one you mentioned here is any indication.
Why the fuck can't this person eat in a room they're paying to live in?
How about giving us a list of all the rules they're expected to follow, so we can understand the bigger picture?
It kinda sounds like you're forcing some crazy rules on your roommates. Now you're on the Internet trying to use someone's diagnosis as an excuse for your shitty behavior.
If your tenancy agreement with them is repeatedly getting broken by them disregarding your rules, kick them out.