4d ago

dating profile

59 comments

I bet he wants to use the milkies for cheese production
- he's only 18 what esle would he know them for!
- I'd like to seize those means of production.
  
  This guy sees the means of reproduction!
- He should say "entrepreneur" in the bio
  
  No it says he's an artist, clearly this is high-quality artisanal cheese.
- I wonder if anyone with a lactation kink has made cheese out of it…
  
  With literally 0 research I can confidently say the answer is yes
I love how even he doesn’t know what “ex-father” means.
- Baby go bye-bye
Ex father? Broke up with his kids?
- Surely he just means that he left the church and is no longer a pastor at... 18!
  
  I'm thinking he lost custody of his multiple kids before the age of 18.
- He disowned his kid because it was toxic and attention seeking waking him up crying at night.
- Dead :)
- One of them couldn't digest cheese, so they had to go.
- He's the father of his ex
and still there's people that pretend perfection doesn't exist
It is actually impressive for such a young man to accumulate that many cats. No commitment issues here.
- If you live in conditions squalid enough, they come to you quite by their own accord.
  
  And they multiply pretty quickly, someone started feeding the parking lot cats at work like two years ago, now we have dozens all over
6 cats
lives alone
I guess the cats don't count?
- Makes sense, no cat would allow their servant to be so entitled as to claim to live with them. No no no!
  They are allowed to exist near them. Under them.
  It explains why this guy is searching for a dommy mommy. He knows his place! Insert horrible sex puns here
This person is not lactose intolerant
- You have never met one.
  All the ones I know will eat despite knowing the consequences.
  
  I used to work for one that would eat cheese pizza he ordered for the crew and then he would gas up the register line and go hide in his office.
  
  It's a special treat. You know how some folks get shit faced and call that a good time? Lactose intolerant people face shit and call it a great time.
- They might still get sick from milk. Cheese is lower in lactose.
- Just how I like em
I sense a secret underlying passion for dairy product, barely hidden beind the gamer introduction.
- I wonder if he has human cheese in his fridge.
  
  Probably in his crevice too lol
Nothing wrong with that.
- Ex-father (?)
  Weird way to say widower or were the kids taken away and he's lost all custody?
  
  He's looking for a dominant mommy so maybe he used to be a dominant father. (?)
I see 0 issues here.
- In fact, I'm gonna steal the part about mommy and add it to my profile too. A focking masterpiece.
Everything except the ex father thing is legit
they're perfect
I bet he makes the same Christmas in Hollis joke every year.

59 comments