I need to contact a Pro Max adult

Now that I live alone, I'm infinitely grateful for getting rid of my mom's advices in my life, half of which were "let me do it" - not so that I could watch and learn, but because she wanted to treat me like a disabled child. She feels personally insulted whenever anyone says "no" to her "help". I did have to endure almost 30 years of that shit, tho.

Fuck that. Everytime I call my mom, she only disencourages and brings me down. She is the best mom, but her life experiences were too bad for her to ever push me in the right direction. I only want to tell her what I'm doing, but hate every second she gives me advice on it because her prespective and life experiences are horrible.

For example, she forced me to stay working at the worst minimum-wage slave jobs you could imagine, and if I told her I would kill myself if I stayed one more day in this job, she would tell me about how they used to clime uphill to school when she was a kid and live without electricity and had a child by 15, and drove 6 hrs to work for $200 salary... for fuck sake mom... no.
My life has turned so much for the better as soon as I stopped taking that from her. I know no one in existance could or ever would love me like her, but I should not take advice from her.

It was difficult to accept but after talking with a therapist, and years of being discouraged every time I talked to her, I made the same realization and stopped telling her about most of my life. Everyone is much happier if we don't talk about this. Otherwise she will tell me I took all the wrong decisions and that I should have stayed miserable because that's how it works.
She (and all of her family) is afraid of pretty much everything. So as soon as you can secure a job, you keep it; for life! Even if it destroys your body or your mental, you have a job so keep it! Don't go to school, it's just a waste of money. Don't look elsewhere because it's not going to be better anyway. It's even causing conflict in her family because one of her sister is a nurse and is "too educated". They consider her snobbish.
It's my mother, I love her, but I can't tell her anything or it's going to be worse for both of us.

Granddad was the Adult Pro Max in our family. Since he passed, Mom and I are both bad at adulting, so we just call each other to commiserate. :P

I'm hesitant asking my parents for advice because it will be grounded in their... clears throat outdated worldview.

My parents give me good advice but they think their advice is scale invariant. I wish life could be sunshine and hospitality in my small community but unfortunately I'm no sunshine and I live in a metropol with amalgamation of different cultures with opposing politeness expectations.
Yeah. When I was 2 years into my working life (in tech), I was still taking advice from my dad (who worked in two government agencies his entire life). When I told him I'm switching jobs (for the first time), he told me to consider working in government because the longer you work there, the better your pension at retirement. This was at a time when the tech boom was starting, IT jobs were becoming the highest paid in the market, and switching every couple of years gets you paid better than a promotion. As a 20 year old in tech, the low salaries in government wasn't exactly enticing.
- I don’t understand, that is decent advice. Pensions are nearly impossible to get outside of government work.
  If he suggested not moving companies because you’d be wasting time towards a pension at that private company, that indicates an outdated worldview, because that used to be common and no longer is. He correctly has identified that government work is one of the only ways to get a pension these days.
The only advice from them I take seriously is stuff that has nothing to do with society as a whole. Basically stuff like what to do about some random bug in my apt. Sometimes I bounce ideas around about something I'm considering doing (which is mostly just me thinking to myself but with an audience).

Look I love my mom.

But one of us has a therapist and a taste for new interesting foods. The other has anger issues when the food isnt Banquet Turkey in gravy with boxed mash potatoes.

I'm continually amazed that my mom manages to function in the world with all her crazy beliefs and issues.

An adult. Fuck'n A.

Base model adult right here.

Must be one of these "Alpha Males" I keep hearing about. People need to wait until the male is at least at Release Candidate state before deploying.
SMH my head

I'm pretty happy with how I'm adulting. I cook a bunch, I fix just about anything, I am a pretty solid home DIY person, good with plumbing, electrical, cromulent at basic carpentry and drywalling.

My money is OK, could be better, most of my relationships are healthy, I'm doing OK physically.

I read a lot of books, prioritized emotional health and growth, I like a lot of things, I'm pretty bad at the piano, but I try real hard.

I don't know if I'm pro max but a lot of my friends ask for my advice.

Also, what is that strange curly cord in the picture.

Im like half of this. I'll never compete with my father, though, lol. He just seems to know how to fix and do everything. The only thing I can do for him is computers, and I feel bad because it's nowhere near what he can do and has done for me. Like how im basically broke and in debt and needed a car bad since my last one was 18 years old and he didnt want to keep fixing it or want to fix it because something bad was probably gonna happen soon. So he loans me the money and we buy my cousins car they were going to trade in... within the first month, the entire engine is shot. Dealership wants 9k, so he's like, nah. Tow to his house, and he buys a new engine online for 3k and puts it in himself. Took him some time, but he just finished a few weeks ago and has been driving it for 500 miles to make sure it's OK. I'm about to get it back this weekend.
My entire basement flooded a month ago from leaky water heater and then find out after everything was demolished and removed that there were also 5 different leaks in water pipes as well. He just came by and replaced all the plumbing with new pipes while it was exposed in 1 day.
The list goes on, but you get the point. I seriously have no clue what I would do without him, and I know he is getting older now so its kind of scary to think about. I got about 1 more year of debt, and I should be ok after that, thankfully. I'll never forget everything he has done to help. It sucks that a lot of people never get to have something like that.
- Well there is something you can do right now. If something else goes wrong, make him help you fix it.
  I torture my sons by making them help me as I currently finish up a transmission on their car. One of them made a hole in the wall and I will show them how to make the patch, but they're sanding it.
  They have all been shown how to sweat copper, plunge a toilet and cable a drain.
  It is odd that your dad knows how to do to do all this stuff, but doesn't teach you. When I'm old and crusty, the last thing I want to do is fix everyone's stuff. He's just setting himself up for a lot of work in his golden years if he doesn't.
That's the phone cord.
- Wow, thats wild, why would you charge a phone with a weird curly cable?

I'm really considering making an askLemmy post for career advice and I don't think Lemmy was around at my parent's time

Gotta be able to afford the Pro Max subscription.

You are just stuck with what you got for your entire life.

Can't talk to my my mom about deep stuff because her anxiety is much worse than mine. She wold never sleep.

I remember back when my mom was just anxious. That was bad enough, and meant that I'd avoid sharing any problems with her because she'd worry too much. Since then she's gone off the deep end, believing just about every conspiracy theory that exists. So, now it's not just that I avoid sharing any problems, or any deep things. I actively have to watch everything I say around her to avoid triggering a rant involving a conspiracy theory.
I think the anxiety fed into the conspiracies. IMO many conspiracy theorists feel a complete lack of control over their lives, and conspiracy theories make them feel better because they can blame "the powers that be" for their problems. And, even if they still feel out of control, they at least feel like they know the hidden truth of what's happening. Knowing that hidden truth makes them less anxious. The world is still scary and they have no control, but someone has control, even if it's someone evil. It's not just random things happening with no plan.
Anyhow, I hope your mom just stays anxious and doesn't go nuts like mine.