1w ago

American ambassador to Italy refuses to live in the official US residence in Rome. Instead, he stays on a yacht and helicopters to work.

airmail.news

Tilman Fertitta, Trump’s Ambassador to Italy, Is Wreaking Havoc in Rome

21 comments

Look on the bright side: maybe the helicopter will crash.
- Or maybe orcas will attack the yacht. I’d be okay with either, and even more okay with both.
  
  How about orcas doing a heist type of operation where younger of the orcas sneaks in as a helicopter pilot and smash it into the yacht?
Yet, within just a few months of being sworn in, Fertitta has allegedly complained to Trump about a swarm of self-styled Italian and American emissaries and makeshift middlemen eager to influence relations between Rome and Washington.
It's almost like we need an ambassador there to deal with these people.
- And maybe even a reasonably sized staff of skilled and dedicated public servants who can help this and other burdensome tasks without being corrupted by the stream of grifters!
As a rule of thumb, I’m hesitant to trust anyone who unironically wears a cowboy hat.
- I get it. I really do. And I hate it because I like cowboy hats. They're comfy and offer nice sun protection. The smaller brimmed ones look pretty good with most of the things I wear. It's just that 90% of the people wearing one are scumbags. Worse, the biggest scumbags that wear them always look fucking stupid in them because they have no idea how to shape them for their face.
  It's a good rule of thumb. They ruined my punisher T-shirts. They ruined my cowboy hats. They ruined Norse runes. Next they'll ruin my rainbow bracelets.
  
  Would you please do me a favor and start collecting Labubus
  
  They'll probably start collecting rainbow bracelets off of people they beat up as trophies.
- Italians love cowboys though.
  
  most cowboys are italians
Tillman fucking Fertita is ambassador to Italy?!
- Holy fucking hell..... I had to reread that 5 times in the article to believe it. I bet if they rebranded it the Fertitta Embassy and flew in Mattress Mack to party he'd stay there. Or maybe it's all a mission to steal family recipes and open an Italian Landry's.
And all it cost him was his human dignity and respect! See, children, bootlicking isn’t that bad. All you have to do is be friends with ethically bankrupt sleazebags, and you’ll be set for life. Don’t leave those sleazebags alone with your kids, though! Who knows WHAT could happen!
Mama Mia!
https://archive.ph/UrTC9

21 comments