The First Zombie of a Zombie Apocalypse

The worst part of a viral apocalypse is that it takes a fuckton of stupid, unobservant and selfish people to spread it irreparably before it's noticed. The best part is that, in the West at least, we have witnessed an adequate amount of aforementioned morons who'd do just that in our universe

Oh, if zombies are very slow-motion slow, blind & death, it takes at least 10 bites to infect you, and you basically have to help them move their jaw to actually bite you - we are stil not surviving the apocalypse.
We will however have to go to work through all if it.
- eSsEnTiAl WoRkErS
I'm just saying the vaccine to cure zombification is more dangerous than the zombie bite! I could get autism or something!

After seeing how excited some folks got during COVID, that's genuinely somewhat of a worry for me. Kind of like how lonely, young men can be sold on the idea of war, because they think they'll finally be adored as a hero, you can just as well find preppers who think they'll finally be adored, because they bought toilet paper before everyone else could.

In the case of COVID, it was thankfully a disappointment for the preppers, in that the best survival strategy was staying in your cushty home. That will be the case for the vast majority of infectious diseases. But I still bet someone out there had the intrusive thought that maybe they shouldn't help reduce the spread of COVID, because you won't be deemed a hero without a real crisis...

Teddy Roosevelt wanted a war to make him into a more famous President.

Report the zombie to ICE as an illegal immigrant.

Ahahahaha xD

That's genuinely the reaction when I pointed out how ridiculous it is for the military (or anyone really) to be overwhelmed by a rotting and slow-moving corpse. World War Z and I am Legend made the zombie apocalypse more believable.

You ought to play Dying Light. Freshly made zombies move fast, then slow down to a crawl. Also some mutate and come out at night to hunt.
- I have the game on my backlog!

pretty bizarre to see a zombie pop out and presume kt is the first and only zombie in the world

Probably a net benefit for the environment, too…

ah yes, ecofascism
- But not seriously
A super-win for biodiversity, the last hail Mary that somehow unexpectedly worked.
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only motherfucker on the internet that doesn't want humanity to die off.
What's wrong with y'all?
- Zombies are people too. Technically humanity “lives” on.
  Protect zombie rights to eat, donate your brain and join the hord today!
- We love nature and hate what humanity has become. Simple

I dunno. It'd be nice to mix things up a bit. Find a whole new set of things to worry about.

Accelerationism in a nutshell.

Literally not. Accelerationism is for speeding up things that will happen anyways, while here there is a choice between it happening and not happening at all.
- It is specifically about causing an imagined future crisis to happen as soon as possible to get to the imagined golden age following it

Could just be a regular necromancy zombie.

It would also be so much very a lot eco friendly.