An old boss of mine started most group conversations with "right then you cunts..." and it was set the tone straight away. No bullshit, no egos, and no dragging on the conversation. Top fella actually, one of the best leaders I've had. We were his cunts, and he was our better-paid cunt.
We had another bloke who was a proper cockney boy. If you were in his good books, you were a "geezer", and if you'd ruined his day then you were a "slaaaaag".
I'm guilty of addressing my squad from my very junior managerial position as "alright my dudes", which on the surface of it sounds very male-leaning, but I think since the 90s "dude" has become as gender-neutral as they come.
That, or you could go full Karl Jobst and kick off with "hello you absolute legends .."
I swear I can hear your accent from text alone. I am surely wrong but thanks for writing that. It grabbed me.
I've read their post in the voice of Butcher.
Limp Bizkit was ahead of its time for inclusive language. I identify as someone who doesn’t give a f*ck, and I felt very seen because of this lyric. 💜
Someone at work said we should use "folks"... But I'm not a Loony Tunes ending screen.
I call everyone nerds, and yall may think, not everyone is a nerd. Wrong.
Remember that jock from the football team, ask them about about sports betting. You will get a better lesson in sports statistics than you would by taking a college class. Everyone is a nerd about something.
You count every single protein you eat to get swole? Nerd.
You strap hard rate monitors to yourself to run a 10km? Nerd.
You go to concerts of your fav rapper and buy and wear his merch? Nerd.
You don't do anything that's interesting, but go to the screws and bolts plant every workday at exactly 6:30, wear the same blue dungarees, get off at 15:00, wash your hands with your favourite extra strong, lemon-scented, degreasing soap? Nerd.
You know which grain of wood you can glue together and which way it should curve to not trap moisture and rot? Nerd.
More comprehensive, yes. But everything will only superficially resemble probability (or worse, statistics), without any idea zeroing on the real thing.
Alternatively, you can ask a crystal-hippie about quantum mechanics. Oh, well... we have LLMs nowadays, you can ask them anything.
"Stay fresh cheese bags!" Is how I'm saying "goodbye" now.
Another common one is "y'all" but I'm not American enough to pull that off.
Ironically yall is from the south too
Yeah the south of England. It's just another word Y'all gave us and then abandoned like soccer.
What about the aussie/british “youse”
Man, (neutral), southern is preferable for usage of y'all, but most people can pull it off. Edit: somehow forgot to type the most important part. Have some god damn faith.
I always lead with "What's up fuckers" when communicating with my nonbinary brothers and sisters
Isn't that the gay cowboy that has a tiger exposition?
That the first Trump administration mascot. I'm surprised he hasn't been made wildlife secretary for this term
For the formal occasion: “Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between …”
I always like to say "in between and beyond", for all our friends off the standard gender spectrum :)
Even better!
As a joke, I'd probably say something like "and all the other ones". Hope that isn't offensive or something.
Risky joke - could get a laugh, could get you a meeting with HR without biscuits. It's worth a punt though if you know your audience!
If you make the joke a bit more explicit it tends to get a few more laughs, like "this one goes out to the tireless administrators, creative engineers, fantastic embeds... and Paul".
Only pull those stunts if you're happy to get the piss taken out of you in return though, else you'll look like a right tosser.
I usually use the most benign and conservative of phrases... S'up whores!
guys, gals, and pals
Oh, man, I'm pretty decent at this. Man is a favorite of mine. You may be thinking "that's not neutral". To that I say, yuh huh. Pardner, obviously said in some kind of Arthur Morgan impression (quality irrelevant). Buddy, if you want to be dismissive, as in "Yeah, sure buddy". Bitch, to be used with close colleagues. Also somehow gender neutral. Diva is pretty universal. It has the added plus as a quick little homophobia check. Girliepop, similar usage as diva. Pookie/ pookie bear, to be used with close friends and partners.
Beware, cowards!
