I wish I had the super strength of Superman, with my entire body being able to safely deal with the increased forces

Granted. Superman had to practise controlling his strength for his entire life so he wouldn't hurt those around him. You can survive that strength, but others can't.

I should point out that this means you can never pet a dog again.

Granted. The hardened flesh causes constant pain throughout your body yet you cannot feel the touch of another.

Granted. However, your body is now so large that your lungs are unable to take in enough oxygen to support it. You slowly asphyxiate and die.

Granted. You gain the power through x-kryptonite. You gain the nickname Tarhiel.