Bird Law is the best specialty.
For the public, this probably sounds like a strange and non prestigious reason to pursue a career in law, but for lawyers, dealing with people's idiosyncrasies is one of the juiciest and most interesting parts of the job and a big reason to be drawn to the profession to begin with.
I think everyone in any profession like to talk about "the weird stuff" most.
Step 1: teach the bird to talk shit about you.
Step 3: Profit
Say the bird does start talking shit about one of them: how do you prove it was the other person to teach the bird and not the person being insulted?
This isn't enforceable.
"If the bird talks bad about either person, it will be handed over to a third party for adoption."
"You're welcome, and that will be $3,000."
--my lawyer, probably
I hope the parrot is bonded to both of them, or has a second parrot friend. Parrots will legit get sick if they stay away from their partners too long/often
Seems entirely reasonable. Honestly, more reasonable than visitation about dogs or cats which are much less long-lived animals.
...Phoenix Wright, is that you?
