I'm glad there are multiple commenters treating this with the grim seriousness it deserves. Thank you all for pointing out the grave inaccuracies of the Satanic Menards theory. You've saved everyone a great deal of time.
Is this the secret to how you save 66% on everything?
Or is the real secret that you'll never remember to mail in the rebate card until it's long past the due date and just stuck with the 11% higher price?