Holy shit it took me a few minutes

Woah that's not Jennifer Lawrence that's a perfectly formed 256 man Macedonian phalanx

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?

I dunno man, back when all those nudes got stolen and released, I thing it was kinda strange why a perfect 256 man Macedonian phalanx was included.

I'm suspecting Jennifer Lawrence is a perfect 256 man Macedonian phalanx

Why don't they keep all the spears pointed forward instead of some uselessly in the air? Are they stupid?

Funny enough, one ancient source suggests it was an anti-missile measure, and that some arrows would be 'caught' by the mass of spear shafts pointed in the air and deflect/lose momentum. No clue if that's actually viable or if it's just ancient authors spouting off as they sometimes do, lol
They don't hold the spear in its balance point, but close to one end. That puts a lot of pressure on the front fulcrum hand. Imagine holding a 2x4 by the last 2 feet of one end. It's easier to hold it pointing up than it is to hold it pointing horizontal.
Same deal with jousting lances. Jousters only lower the lance as they are about to strike the target.
Also if your in the back rank, you might stab your friend in the front rank in the bum by accident. This sort of behaviour needs to wait until after the battle is won and there is a post-battle piss-up where you might accidentally kiss your bros just a lil bit, unless...
- Also if your in the back rank, you might stab your friend in the front rank in the bum by accident. This sort of behaviour needs to wait until after the battle is won and there is a post-battle piss-up where you might accidentally kiss your bros just a lil bit, unless…
  Furthermore, Arrian and Plutarch describe the occasion when Alexander and Hephaestion publicly identified themselves with the Homeric figures of Achilles and Patroclus. At the onset of the campaign in Asia, Alexander led a contingent of the army to visit Troy, scene of the events in his beloved Iliad. He encircled the tomb of Achilles with a garland and Hephaestion did the same with the tomb of Patroclus,[56] and they ran a race, naked, to honour their dead heroes.[57
  "H-ha ha, what if we run a naked race to honor our favorite gay lovers of mythology and pretend we're each one of them? Jk jk! ... unless...?"

Hey, no making fun of 256-man phalanges, those things can successfully defend against a tank.

I don’t get it but I love it nonetheless.