Absofuckinglutely.
Toxic positivity leads to omnipresent, convoluted negativity. Just feel what's there. Let the thoughts run their course.
Of course, actually discovering that this is viable is kindof a dice throw of readiness. But at least if you don't have the necessary experience, you live the necessary experience.
How would one approach discussing toxic positivity with a friend?
She can't get any dates or maintain other friendships because of this personality she's adopted, everyone can see right through it and she comes across as annoying at best, and like psycho delusional at worst, doesn't help that she's 30, stacking shelves, thinking she gonna meet a guy of her dreams at work, refuses to use dating apps because she thinks herself above them and might actually be thinking she's gonna make it in the music industry after a few singing lessons.
She also spams random anime shit, but when I try to connect that way as I used to be a weeb back in the day, she's never even seen any classics, just no-name seasonal moeshit.
I know you tried to make her sounds bad but I'm over here like she's got a job, hobbies, goals, dreams and puts her heart into being the positivity people want in this world...sounds like she's doing pretty damn well to me
I don't think anybody wants that kind of fake positivity but I by no means hold any of it against her. I'm somewhat disillusioned from it all and confused and concerned primarily since she says she's depressed, but change has to come from within sometimes.
she's got a job, hobbies, goals, dreams
Well not to be an asshole but that's just the bare minimum. I know plenty of people have less than that, hope that ain't you. Hope you're doing okay, internet stranger.
Edit: Wow people are downvoting this! I don't really get why
thinking she gonna meet a guy of her dreams at work, refuses to use dating app.
I don’t know about your friend, but someone may decide against dating apps if they’re looking for less superficial and more meaningful connections.
I also don’t think you should look down on her anime choices. People like what they like, they might not care if someone else considers it bad or someone else prefers “classics”.
I don’t know about your friend, but someone may decide against dating apps if they’re looking for less superficial and meaningful connections.
Why? Every decently long-term relationship I've ever had was on dating apps. I don't think people still do the meet-at-work thing these days anyway. Not trying to be all "these days" tho I mean it literally, It was never really appropriate that is, because work is just prison you stay in to have a roof over your head, any socialization there is inherently forced and highly problematic.
As for clubs now that's proper shallow, not to mention dangerous with all the spice and ndma, not that there's any of em left on these cursed isles, all shuttered and sold off for parts to the chinese years ago, bless em.
Besides, she's trans and bi, same as myself, the chances of finding someone who'll be interested in her amongst just a random selection of people in forced socialization spaces are closer to nill than god to baby jesus.
To think otherwise and even get depressed about it demonstrates to me that someone is just utterly out of touch with all reality, and that's damn concerning.
The one guy she did meet cheated on her cuz he assumed the whole thing was a joke cuz why would he date a lady who couldn't make babies. Not the sorta caliber folk you get on dating apps. Closest thing I ever got was a guy who was totally a six feet CompSci but could fit in some of my old pockets and couldn't tell an hackintosh from a docker if the yaml wrote him
Like, I used to think my prince in shining armor was gonna sweep me off my feet when I was 17 fresh she/her posting for attention and found him on good ol' r9k, 'cept the reality was I was in an abusive LDR with a shady jobless alcoholic 10 years older than me from Arizona with a psycho brother in tow and a love for first gen anti-histamines. Like full on jumping naked on cars in gated communities type psycho. Think they're both maga nuts now.
Now that's understandable, I was a child, didn't have my head on straight, couldn't see that dog won't hunt. Hell I just transitioned that year, only knew jack and shit and jack skipped town to get estrofem two miligram.
But she's 30, like, I just want to tell her "time to get on the dating apps and fight for scraps amongst those creepy high school marriage divorcees cuz you were too good for all the good ones" but I'm afraid she'll snap or something.
People like what they like
That's a thought-terminating cliche. If you ate assorted dust for breakfast it's damn weird, there's no way around it, but if you have a reason for it, like maybe it just makes you feel less bloated or something, you can talk about it - you can connect with people over it. It ain't nothing if not interesting. Show em that you think, that you do somethin' with all that oxygen you hog.
But if you don't then it's not very surprising if people assume you must be dimmer than a flashlight when you need one. You don't owe justification to anyone but it damn well helps when you live in a society.
I wish someone shown this to my parents at any point in their lives! Haha! :D
At least I'm good at acting! Haha!
80s america excelled at this. It was the Atheist version of prosperity gospel
The law of attraction seemed to be pretty big in the 2000s with What The Bleep Do We Know? and The Secret. That's just toxic positivity wearing a New Age mantle.
Can you do one for the opposite? My SO always says I'm pessimistic but I think I'm just realistic. I expect the worse and hope for the best. Anything other than a worst case scenario is a pleasant scenario.
Huh, I always heard "hope for the best, plan for the worse". Which I think is a better strategy to handling the inevitable bad.
Getting a sense of deja vu from this post
Beginning vs end of inside out 1
