If you like romance in fiction, how do you like it? Realistic or Idealistic?
If you like romance in fiction, how do you like it? Realistic or Idealistic?
While I was documenting myself to create a romantic work between two women, I made a little detour and read a Manga (Love Hurts, by Kiriko Nananan) that made me wonder if the idea I initially had for my story is too idealistic to the point of bordering on childish. It's just that the manga portrays interpersonal relationships in such a raw way (compared to what I've been consuming until then), that perhaps the impact it gave me was even greater than I expected.
I understand that there are those who prefer an escapist work, experiencing more of a dream than a one-on-one copy of real life. I also know that there are those who don't see much value in escapism and prefer art to function as a mirror of reality. I personally found myself somewhere in between.
What I would like to know is which side I should lean more towards in order to do the best work possible.
Short answer: Realistic
Long Answer: I think there’s a time and place for both. Idealistic can be very fun and comfortable to fall back on. However, like your typical “Jack Smith, highly-trained and deadly secret government agent” protagonist, there’s way too much idealistic romance in pop culture to the point that I believe it skews how many people expect relationships to work. That’s commonly unhealthy and occasionally dangerous, so I think we need more popular depictions of realistic romance, and by romance I mean all kinds of relationships. ESPECIALLY close, tight-knit non-sexual friendships between men and women.
There's way too much idealistic romance in pop culture to the point that I believe it skews how many people expect relationships to work.
I can't agree more to this.
I think we need more popular depictions of realistic romance [...] ESPECIALLY close, tight-knit non-sexual friendships between men and women.
Totally on board with that. I'll keep it in mind more seriously.
Ouuuuff... either?
Depends on context?
Depends on writing?
Difficult to really say what my preference is. "Well written", I would say. Believable, but in the context of the fiction, so if the fiction is a magical fairyland, then a believable romance would be utterly idealistic. Etc.
I think romance in fiction is really hard to do well because you somehow have to get across the fact that every romance is different, unique, and often doesn't make too much sense except to the people involved.
A "realistic" romance can be realistic to the author but be filled with very idiotic choices that makes the reader find the romance not realistic at all
Similarly, an "ideal" romance might be written as perfect for the author and certain readers feel it's the least romantic thing in the world.
This looks like a lose-lose but all I'm trying to say is that regardless of what you pick, to me, the most important aspect is getting across that this relationship is entirely between the two characters and difficult to get across to the reader. That's why, to me, romances in stories often work when they aren't the main plot as it lets the reader fill in the gaps of how that romance evolved.
Not sure, since it's a sliding scale, but high idealism can end up being kind of problematic. See any number of creepy or patriarchal things that romcoms tend to promote. Since it's two women the risk of falling into that is reduced, though.
Another vote for "well-written". I have read both, and both are good if they're done well. Besides, I don't usually have the option when I find a book, the summaries rarely tell me and I'm not gonna dig through the middle of the book for the answer to this question.
What I care about is being able to connect with the characters. If I can connect to someone in a realistic relationship, great. If I can connect to someone and they get that idealist treatment, great. If I can connect to someone and it seems like a romance but it's abusive and the book becomes a realistic horror novel, that's also great, I'll feel the fear and desperation.
I never have wanted to read a book to have a specific experience, is my point. If your experience was well-written, it would be good.
Tough question starting with the fact that realistic relationships vary widely in their scope of wholesomeness and functionality; and stylized or escapist relationships can also vary widely. Just look at how popular stuff like Twilight or 50 shades got for example.
I'm going to side here with people saying it just has to be well written or entertaining enough. It's more about the characters and the story than whether or not they get along very well or if they have struggles.
When I was younger, I enjoyed idealistic stories. Now that I'm older, I find too much idealism to be exasperating. I prefer realism and grit and imperfection.
So based on that, I think your target audience should play a large part in your decision on style.
Whatever your goals for the story, shape its components to better present them. What's the love part got to do with the rest of the story? Figure that out and adjust accordingly.
I really enjoyed Joe Abercrombie's portrayal of romance. Each relationship seems thoroughly inconvenient to both parties when it starts and it never actually ends well.
I like for the situation to be real, described in a way that just clicks with my inner voice. I'm not sure where in your question that notion stands.
To be engaging and genuine. I think there's a lot of ways to achieve it, but it depends on the story and the public, because some may see too idyllic relationships as unrealistic and others may see more down-to-earth relationships as toxic.
I want realistic, man.
I want to learn something real useful, because that is life. I don't want to read idealistic romantic novel then delulu myself, thay whould be so fuck up
Idealistic in the sense that I like it to be so toxic it's unrealistic. Not to lose all believability, but in a "wow the stars really must have aligned to make these two people meet and fall in love with each other when they're so fucked up together" kind of way. I don't really like reading happy fiction, it's kinda boring.