I'll get right on that
I'll get right on that
30 comments
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Customer; I need you to do XYZ PDQ because I am incapable of doing it myself.
Me: unfortunately the request you are making is not possible. However, I can do ABC instead.
Customer: Forester is stupid and won't help me.
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Yes, you're correct, customer. The more likely answer is not that I am telling the truth, it is that I get off on being willfully obstinate and making up for problems. I'm out to get you.
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If your whole project hinges on changes to your IT... FFS, tell us about it before you need the work done, not 2 days afterwards.
IT does not stand for "Inherently Telepathic".
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3 decades behind the phone has taught me this one thing: Let them vent, they're not mad at you.
Also: Some people simply cannot be helped.
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You can actually get yourself out of the prerecorded script and into actual problem solving if you list all the things you did, yell a little bit, and then say you're not yelling at the technician you're just frustrated by their company. Guess what!? They hate their company too
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This is incorrect. On your first call to nearly any customer service you are getting a script reading grunt that literally will lose their job if they go off script.
You will need to go through the script regardless.
What the ACTUAL trick is convincing the script reading grunt that this is critical enough to escalate to a tier2 helpdesk rep.
THAT'S when the real actual problem solving happens.
Not yelling at all is a good step, an even better step is to open immediately with "Hey I know it's not your fault, and you just work there, but I've been tearing my hair out over this for blah blah blah."
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Wait, you guys have self respect?
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If we say any of these things, we are telling you to fuck off in such a manner HR won't fire us for it
Unfortunately....
I trust this clarifies matters.
I regret to note that…
While I am sympathetic to your situation…
I urge you to trust our expertise and experience.
What you propose has merit but is sadly unworkable.
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Thankfully my customers don't have physical access to the servers. But I have told somebody to pull all the power plugs out of the wall and read me the serial numbers between the prongs once to force them to power off.
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As someone on the other end of this, it’s incredibly frustrating when tickets are submitted, detailed issues provided, and then nothing happens for weeks only to be met with an “are you still having that problem we didn’t fix?” Reply, then asking for all the information present in the ticket, only to have the problem continue to not be fixed. No, it is not a user error when Adobe can’t validate an enterpise license or teams cannot make a voice call without crashing.
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If they're asking that it means that they tried to replicate it and they couldn't replicate it.
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30 comments
another thing, don't append everything with "It's very urgent we need it fixed now" because you'll get put in the not listen to list
There are probably less than 5 emails in our internal helpdesk queue this month that WEREN'T marked as urgent.
Urgent problems this month include: 'The glare from my kitchen window washes out my laptop screen', 'How do I change the color of my folders icon?' and 'Client reports hearing faint mumbling from their org's landing page'
I handled the last one personally, she had a forgotten tab with a looping podcast playing on very low for the last few days.
When EVERYTHING is urgent, NOTHING is urgent.
Urgently do the needful
Since you did not yet make a reply to me, I'm going to reply to this chain to prompt you to reply quicker. Please do the needful urgently
I love that phrase. Because it lets me decide what’s needful. Sometimes it’s my lunch or catching up on the news.
HELP!!¡!!!!!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!
have one user that every subject is help, sequels get ! appended.
COMPUTER IS BROKE!11!!!11one!
Tonight I dine on turtle soup!