Mickey says "zzzzz"
Despite everything that's happened, I miss my friend.
We've known each other about 5 years, and been through thick and thin. We referred to each other as family. I was there for him, and he was there for me.
It all turned to shit pretty quickly once he got together with a new partner. We went from chatting a couple of times a week on the phone, to radio silence.
And then all the spiteful stuff that came afterwards. ie: telling me to give up trying to get an IT gig, withdrawing his reference (knowing full well at the time that I'd be fucked without it) almost like he wants me to fail.
I'm hurt. Deeply. And I know his new partner has something to do with it. But at the end of the day, they are his choices.
There's no coming back from what's happened. The door is shut from my end.
And so life goes on. My ability to trust in people a little more shaken.
So I went to see friends last night, I always look forward to seeing the wife of the couple, she's becoming a good friend and I hope I am a friend to her. The guy is a childhood friend of my husband.
And the guys grew up being the smartest person at school and they are both pretty successful in their sci or math respective fields.
here's the thing, the men both treat me like an idiot, or should I say, they both expend quite a bit of energy to keep me in my place
and I really don't give a shit,
but I noticed the guy treats his wife just as poorly as he treats me, worse since it's all the time. At first I thought it was just explaining a difficult scientific subject but it's everything she does.
She's a highly educated and experienced lawyer who is fluent in 3 languages. She's no idiot. And even if she was you don't talk to people like that.
It just saddens me.
and doesn't surprise me, rude men tend to hang with other rude men
all I can do is continue be a friend with her
Wow. I decided I wanted to go to the shops and grab some choccy and it turned into a rollercoaster. Only 2 minutes longer to walk than catch PT so I decided may as well get the exercise in (one bad thing + 1 good thing cancel each other out, right? About 5 minutes in I realise that was a bad decision when I walk past a dude tagging up a wall, and the section with streetlights finished and I'm walking through dingey industrial alleyways while it's pitch black (even if it was only 6:30). Get to the shops at 6:48 and the doors I tried to go in were locked "oh sorry, you'll have to go to the other doors". Ugh. Any guesses how long of a walk that is? 1.2km.... 1.2km to get to the doors on the other side, rather than walking 200 metres inside....................
Anyways I finally got there and one of the doors was locked, which I actually thought meant those doors were closed too, which made my heart sink. But nah, they just locked one of them. Get to Kmart and hear beeping and thudding, like the noise their roller doors might make (got there at 7:05 and they close at 8). But no, maintenance people were just doing work on scissor lifts out the front.
Coming home I decided I'd take the tram back, just because I didn't want to walk back that dinky little dodgy arse alley way that 100% looks like it belongs in Chicago. So I walked about 5 minutes (out of 10) down this other dimly lit side street (but with houses rather than warehouses), and realised I'm going to miss my tram (tram was 6 minutes away, I was 5) so I picked up the pace and then google maps stopped showing me where the tram was, and I thought I'd missed it. But then a minute later I saw the tram lights and assumed it was my tram. But then when the tram was slowing down I realised I didn't actually know whether I was on the right side or not, and if this was my tram (I'd checked tram tracker after my tram vanished and both sides had trams due at the same time)
I decided to just get on and figure it out later, worst case I'll go the wrong way but probably end up somewhere that feels safer. It was my tram though, and now I'm back with chocolate! I got some of those freckle things and a cherry ripe, so it's not all bad!
TL:DR the shops suck, google maps sucks, I suck, and the area my hotel is in sucks
Went to Missy Higgins at the Palais last night, probably one of the best gigs I've been to in the last 10 years. 13 year old me and 33 year old me were stoked.
Fried up some chicken, mixed it with the leftover savoury rice mix and made parcels out of it, some with flatbread and some with leftover pizza dough. Did more laundry, very nearly finished it too lol. Watched some wrestling with Elder minipeeler. He said he wants to be a pro wrestler when he grows up. I think he's partly been inspired by how accessible, friendly and cool the guys at Lucha Fantastica are. I could picture him as a luchador in a travelling show, and I don't know exactly how I feel about that. Not that it makes any difference, it's his dream not mine. Miniest wants to be 10 different things and doesn't know which thing to pick. I said why pick one? You can be an artist and a vet and a cake decorator and run an animal refuge and design gardens etc. Look at Leonardo da Vinci, he was lots of things.
Oh man, I’m going through it.
Melbcat is having a rough go of it, the cold has flared her arthritis but the nausea from antibiotics means she won’t eat her meals with her regular pain meds in.
She’s been having shots of both pain/anti nausea medication at the vet to break the cycle and I’m giving wafers/liquid meds orally every 12 hours at home. She’s now eaten a little bit twice and takes treats but is still refusing almost every wet meal.
Me, I’ve got some serious health stuff going on and am deeply pissed off about it
I actually feel alive today. It's a Christmas miracle. Might even give the floors a lick with the mop later for something exciting to do.
Bleh. After yesterday’s nap I somehow managed to strain or pull something and some area of my neck or back shoulder is sore which unfortunately is leading to pain when I move my head.
Taken some Panadol and nurofen but I hope it’s only an minor strain and not anything serious.
It’s a day of keeping warm and resting today.
I was gonna go places and do things today, but then I realised bed is warm and decided "nah"
Today is United Nations Public Service Day, and International Widows Day
Moon pretty. And very bright. And shining through my window onto my face.
It was my niece's dance thingo today. Her first time on stage. Her and 3 other pre-school aged kids and it was just as you'd imagine it to be.
When they were led out onto the stage by their teacher at the start of the song, one of the little girls immediately jumped off the stage, ran to her grandma in the front row and opted out. This was after she'd been having a great time rolling around on the stage before the event started. There was a little boy who just stood on the stage and stared at his family looking mildly upset. Another little girl at least had a go but wasn't paying much attention to the teacher who was leading them and then finally my niece was actually trying her hardest to follow the teacher's moves. She was the best!
We stayed for about half a dozen or so more music students' performances who were older and did things like play guitar, play drums along to Metallica/ACDC/RHCP songs, sing and play piano. A little boy played the first 3rd of Bohemian Rhapsody on the grand piano almost flawlessly. Kid would have been like 8 tops I think, but I'm not great with guessing ages. Super impressive. The whole thing was to get the kids performing in front of people so they all messed up at various points, which is fine. They pushed through and got to the end of their performances.
Then my niece decided that she wanted to leave so we ducked out of there before she could really passionately start stating her intentions for the exit.
Apparently Spotify has launched a new cheaper tier. It's billed annually and not monthly. Works out to be the same price as it was before they upped the price again last month. $155 a year ($12.99 a month). The only difference besides the annual billing is that it doesn't include audiobooks
I don't care for the audiobook thing, especially considering the audiobooks aren't unlimited. So if I can scrounge up the annual fee, I might switch
Caught Perfect Days with a friend, I went in wanting to diss it tbh but came out generally enjoying it, it didn't romanticise menial worker life in Japan as much as I expected it to and I enjoy that it didn't infantilise the viewers. Good one to watch on the big screen and soak up the Vibes.
Procrastinating big time on some study items that I have to put my big girl pants on and do because nobody else will and it's self structured so up to me to figure out... So of course I end up mopping the floors which I've been putting off for months. It's good though, because the house has now got a real clean energy.
Dinner, and then I'm going to just sit in front of my laptop and force myself to read some journal articles to get the ball rolling at least.
I'm going to watch Inside Out 2 tomorrow, I've decided. To prepare I just rewatched Inside Out at home and honestly every time I fall in love with it all over again. It's one of the best ever films I've watched, period.
This is no mere kid's film, it's a goddamn psychology class and therapy rolled into one. It brings me to tears, every time (and this must be the fifth time at least). And every time i notice new details, and events of the film have new meaning...
rambling because seriously guys i love this film
This is the first time I've watched it post lockdown and I was honestly ugly crying at the point when Joy realises Sadness needed to take over. I mean i cry at that point every time anyway (also when Sadness sits next to Bing Bong and just listens). But this time it hit so much harder after the huge events of past years: the loss of friends, the irreversible life changes, isolation, the realisation that some joyful parts of the past are truly over and can't drive us any more, and have to be let go to move on to new joy, the sadness taking over happy memories, the rebuilding of new networks by letting emotions blend, and of course one of the big morals of the story - don't keep trying to push through and be happy all the time, embrace the difficult feelings or everything starts breaking down. Deny sadness and you get locked out of your brain with depression.
This film has meant so much to me over the years because I've always been Sadness - Negative Nelly, Debbie Downer, the character in the film to a tee - and both hated and defended that fact fiercely growing up. This was honestly the first film that gave me the permission to embrace it and be proud of it - especially the mum having Sadness running the show with empathy, it was the first time I truly understood who I could become rather than forcing myself to be someone else.
I can't get over how the creators weaved these personal experiences we've all had and actual psychological concepts into such vivid, coherent, playful imagery that doesn't just track as a very entertaining kid's adventure film but also as an incredibly creative and powerful metaphoric film for all ages. I could watch it every year til I die, honestly.
Of course I don't have such high hopes for the sequel. But I can't not watch it when the original means so much to me. ❤️🩹
Went to Fairfield boathouse this weekend. Haven’t been before. Very Old Timey style. Had decent scones and a some very nice walking tracks next to the Yarra. Would be amazing if they gave it a renno like Studley park, but keeping the heritage. I think the location is actually nicer than Studley park, due to the walks and views. Would go again.
Oooof we ikea'd mightily today. I got fuck all done around the house
