1y ago

House Republicans' burning problem: 'We desperately need a place to smoke cigars'

www.rawstory.com

nottheonion @lemm.ee

empireOfLove2 @lemmy.dbzer0.com

1y ago

House Republicans' burning problem: 'We desperately need a place to smoke cigars'

www.rawstory.com /house-republicans-2668534168/

politics @lemmy.world

jeffw @lemmy.world

1y ago

House Republicans' burning problem: 'We desperately need a place to smoke cigars'

www.rawstory.com /house-republicans-2668534168/

29 comments

I think we should all try to support anything that lets rich old bureaucrats kill themselves faster if unwanted side effects can be minimized.
- we should convince them that mercury is the secret to immortality again
  
  We should heat that shit up and tell them to huff the murica vapors.
  
  If we learned anything from COVID, all we have to do is tell them that “Liberal Elite “””DOCTORS””” don’t want you using this home-grown remedy!”
- Except, like most of what these crooks do, others are harmed by it as well.
  
  Hmm, that sounds a lot like conservative policies in general.
  
  Yeah. There's the hitch in the plan.
- So put in a mass order on cheap second-hand carbon fiber for custom-built submarines?
  
  I like the way you think. Maybe they could even lobby and call in favors against the common good to reserve their seat.
They want to build a literal smoke-filled back room in which to cut deals?
Our era is beyond satire.
Anything besides helping the fucken american people, amirite?
- Nah, that would be "socialism".
What. Public restrooms no longer a safe place for homophobes to suck cock by proxy? I thought that was classic Republican 101 stuff right there. What has the world come to‽
God, this tastes like I took a giant bite out of an onion. They are...so serious and committed to having a cigar lounge in the capital building that they are going to stage a cigar sit-in in the office of the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES while literally doing nothing legislative.
It's just...absurd. The article even read like an Onion piece; same pacing, same over-dramatic statements about minor inconveniences, same "no actual news source like Axios would report on this childish bullshit" feeling.
The original Axios article, with it's serious tone almost feels more oniony: https://www.axios.com/2024/06/16/speaker-johnson-tom-cole-capitol-cigars
How did the absurdity become the norm?
- It became the norm when all those bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe lazy mediocre idiots enabled republicans into office by not voting in elections.
  Nothing of value gets done, nothing of value can get done, when these non-voting idiots keep on allowing republican pigs to take the entire nation on a petulant, ignorant, reckless joyride.
  Then when Democrats don't have enough time in power to clean up the mess - all the while being undermined and sabotaged by republicans in a slight minority, consumed by rage at not being the dominant party - the idiots shoot everybody in the foot, including themselves, with their mediocre, myopic mantra... yOu SeE? bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe
  Predictable and flat, like cartoon characters, utterly unintelligent. As much a product of the educational system as their batshit #maga next door neighbor.
- Today
Resign and you can smoke cigars at home, you pricks.
You cannot tell me that this is not the Onion! I would lose my faith in humanity for the billionth time...
They desperately need to go back to the 1820s, it seems.
- and they want to take the rest of us with them! Complete with 1820's civil rights, 1820's woman's rights, 1820's pollution and industrial standards....
The source of this dire problem is Rep. Tom Cole's transition
Would have been much more fun if the author had "accidentally" stopped the sentence there.
- It'd be cool if he transitioned to former rep
- man i'd love to have a meat cigar rn
Yup, these are the ones chosen to represent "the people", but the only people they represent are themselves.
ok J.D. Hogg
- Roscoe, arrest them Duke boys!

29 comments