Abusive Men Describe the Benefits of Violence
Abusive Men Describe the Benefits of Violence
voicemalemagazine.org
Abusive Men Describe the Benefits of Violence - Voice Male magazine
19 comments
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This data is a bit too raw, IMO. It reads too much like a manual.
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I don't understand what is meant by raw data in the context of this article.
This seems less like a scientific study and more like a black board brainstorming session. The list that was shown seems to read as a disorganized list of thoughts, the type you'd find in a brain storming session.
It seems to me that this court mandated facilitator for men who batter was merely trying to share their experiences and insight for why men abuse women.
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It doesn't tell you how to do these behaviors, it's a list of perceived benefits, and I think the author's end commentary is making the point that a lot of abuse victims chalk their abusers' behavior (which they may see in the list) up to personality or upbringing, and this list of all the "benefits" by abusers who are clearly treating this is a very conscious cost/benefit assessment shows that it's not those, it's an intentional and willful choice to hurt them.
It was on that day that I realized if I had to choose between providing batterer groups for men who batter or a consistently effective criminal and civil/family court response to domestic violence, I would choose the criminal and civil/family court response every time. There are just too many benefits gained from this behavior.
After that first time asking the men about the benefits of their violence, I began to be much more effective in my work. It was astounding how dramatically the groups changed once I acknowledged and remembered that the violence was functional— and that was why they used it.
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19 comments
Strange article, I don't get the point of it. Like, of course it is about power and control. You don't need to give me a list of cruel things and abuse.
And it is also utterly strange to read how baffled the author is by their responses. Obviously the abuse by these men is working in this narrow frame of context. There is plenty of information out there on this already, nothing new here.
But apparently the author also completely missed out on what the benefits would be for men to step back from violence and control. Yeah sure, in the context of emotionally limited and estranged men, maybe being control-seeking, manipulative and sadistic is the best possibility to get short-term gratification. But do these people really live a happy life? I would argue that everyone, including these abusive men, would benefit immensely from them learning to get in touch with their own emotions and that of others.
None of that is discussed in this article and I wonder why it was posted to a feminism community in the first place??
It seems to be just one part of the writer describing how he worked in the field of rehabilitation of violent abusers.
By seeing that they did all these things to get and retain power and that there was only the threat of arrest or court mandated time with the writer as a negative, he realized he had to rehabilitate them differently because giving them tools to better communicate was just used as another tool to wield power.
Maybe he has another post where he talks about what tools actually work to rehabilitate abusers.
The site this is from also seems to be a magazine for profeminist men, which if it is truly pro feminist then it could be a good resource for men who need a better understanding of the way the world is for women.
Yes, I understood what the intention of the article was. But I'm really sceptical of pro-feminist groups for men (because they usually don't challenge men's patriarchal tendencies) and the article seems to confirm my scepticism. But yeah, I would probably give the author the benefit of the doubt, were it not posted to a feminist community here. I mean, some people seem to take something with them from it. But I'm missing any kind of analysis or further interpretation of the material discussed in the article. Right now, people could even feel validated as abusers because they've learned that there are good reasons to abuse others.