It's all correct.

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.
-- Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(Immediately after she realized it, the Earth gets destroyed.)
let's maybe not push the propagandic idea that humans are inherently bad, humans are in fact inherently extremely friendly (to a fault) and the idea that the opposite is true is part of what's needed to restrain our inherent need to help others.
Any time a group of humans is placed in a difficult position they start working together, there's that famous example of a group of kids accidentally ending up basically recreating Lord of the flies except they just got along and eventually had pretty comfortable lives, because as it turns out working together makes things way easier!
- Humans mostly help each other. Governments do not like challenges to their authority. Jesus was killed because of the challenge he represented to the Pharisees. Ultimately Rome killed him, but at the demand of the Pharisees and an unruly mob that had been whipped into a frenzy.
They killed him because all he did was preach the apocalypse and the end times to a bunch of poors that began upsetting the power dynamic.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc

They didn't barely kill him. He was dead for like a weekend. They killed the witches properly.

Except for the Sanderson sisters. They took a couple tries.

They didn’t barely kill him. He was dead for like a weekend. They killed the witches properly.
Sounds like a skill issue. If the witches were any good at witching, they wouldnt have died either.
- To be fair, Jesus was a lich. That's a whole other power level
He was mostly dead. Not all dead.
- I'M NOT DEAD YET!
- There’s a chocolate for that too… I think.
The Salem trials came later. I wonder if there discussion was like Townsperson 1: "So this woman with the wart, should we just nail her to a couple pieces of wood"
Townsperson 2: "Nah man, remember the last guy we did that with. Didn't take"
Townsperson 1: "Riiiight. So, wood, nails, and a bonfire then?"
Townsperson 2: Yeah that should do it"
I mean....its not their fault male magic users are harder to kill.

It wasn't his followers that killed him though. His followers did however torture and kill women.

Ya but I'm pretty sure the witches' followers didn't kill the witches either. Obviously just needed more followers. Clearly, the predominant religion is the one with the most followers willing to kill competing dark arts users. It's basically politics.
this is where i wish lemmy had r/askhistorians because i remember for a fact there’s some mandela effect here and culturally we are misremembering something key but as a non-historian i’d look like an idot trying to call it out
edit: ok i figured it out and my point is moot. i am remembering that the Salem witch trials in America did not involve burnings, but hangings. however the witch trials in Europe very much did involve burning.
sorry for the semi-useless comment haha
- Yes, the penalty for being a witch was hanging. Unfortunately the test to prove you were a witch sometimes involved tying you up and throwing you into a lake to see if you float or sink, and if you float then they would hang you. Of course the situation resolved itself if you didn't float. No one ever floated.

They killed him because he pissed off the State, not because magic tricks.

- Pharisees specifically weren't the priests. They were one of the branches of judaism who didn't think temple was necessary for proper worship (which is why they became the predominant branch after the destruction of the temple and rabbinic judaism stems from them), while temple was where priests worked and performed their rites. If you open your Bible to any of the four gospels, you will find that they say it was the priests who brought Jesus to Pilate.
  Also, you shouldn't take gospels at their word for what they say about Pilate as they insert their theological concerns into Pilate's judgement. If you read Josephus, he clearly states Pilate condemns Jesus for claiming to be a king, ie. for political uprising, and even Mark, the earliest of gospels, doesn't state that Pilate didn't think Jesus guilty, unlike the other three.

Theres a film about the book about it.

- Even a former president wants in on that best seller money.
Can't wait for the anime adaptation
- Oh man, let me tell you about The Flying House.
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Flying_House_(TV_series)
  Turns out maybe my ultra-christian grandma is the reason I turned into the heathen weeb I am today!

They killed him on a fancier stake, too!