Obama collapsed the bridge

sigh. I am not ready for 5 to 10 years of dumbshit conspiracy theories about a bridge.

I follow loads of conspiracies, knowledge fight is my favorite podcast, but I never thought for a second they'd make conspiracies out of this.
- Are you kidding me? They'll make conspiracies about absolutely anything, and nothing at all.
  I use to browse r/Conspiracytheories once in a while to see what the echo chamber was up to, and it was always a bunch of idiots throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks.
- Well I mean jar jar has a Caribbean black accent... so you just gotta go with this obviously.
Hang onto your butts
Yeah, there's just too many conspiracy theories to keep track of these days. Like, is it really hard to believe that a ship could accidentally lose power and drift into a support pillar? You really need a conspiracy theory for that?
- No boat has ever crashed before OBUMMER got into office!!1!

Thanks, Obama.

A) Thinking the Daily Mail is a reliable source of information proves how brain-addled this person is.

B) Ah, specially trained to avoid obstacles, unlike all those other ships that are constantly running into things ...

It's also SOP for a ship to be piloted by a specialist from that waterway rather than a member of the crew (as happened here). My terminology is all wrong, but you get the picture.
- Yeah, like you said it's SOP. In Hamburg, Germany any ship above 90 meters gets a specialized pilot to navigate the port, there is a logistical network in place to shuttle those pilots to and from the ships they are needed on. You are not allowed to navigate your ship in the port without one.
  It's a highly specialized job and it's the dream of most seafaring folk around here - study nautics, become first officer for a couple of years, become captain and travel the world, after TEN years you qualify for the special pilot training and then you get the dream job of being paid like a captain but sleep at home every night.
To be fair to the Daily Mail (!!!!) I think that’s some straight reporting that there was a pilot on board. Not sure what difference that makes when the power goes out and you lose steering.

These people can vote😭

If Obama did it, he probably had a good reason.

It's truly astonishing to see how one event can be traced back to its roots, with each subsequent cause revealing itself as more ridiculous than the last. And so we come to unravel the mystery behind the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. Instead of placing the blame at the feet of our former president, Barack Obama, we must venture further back in history and discover that this catastrophe can ultimately be attributed to none other than Martin Van Buren.

At first glance, this may seem preposterous, but bear with us. Martin Van Buren was the eighth President of the United States, serving from 1837 to 1841. During his time in office, he faced an economic crisis known as the Panic of 1837. This financial downturn led to widespread unemployment, businesses failing, and people losing their homes. As a result, many Americans flocked to cities like Baltimore for work and shelter.

The influx of people brought about an increase in demand for transportation infrastructure. However, due to Van Buren's failed policies during the Panic of 1837, adequate funding wasn't allocated toward building bridges. The construction of the Francis Scott Key Bridge was delayed, causing chronic traffic congestion around the harbor. It all came to a head when the container ship, frustrated by the endless lines of cars, decided to take matters into its own hands, crashing into the bridge as if demanding a solution to the traffic problem.

But even before that, Van Buren's policies had another indirect effect on the bridge's collapse. His administration witnessed the rise of the Whig Party as a major political force in opposition to the Democratic Party. In response to this challenge, Van Buren alienated key political allies within his own party. One such person was Francis Scott Key, who wrote the national anthem, "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Key's disillusionment with Van Buren ultimately resulted in him withdrawing from politics. Had he remained in power, perhaps he would have dedicated more resources towards constructing a sturdier bridge. Instead, the subpar construction of the Francis Scott Key Bridge proved to be its undoing.

That didn't happen. And if it did it wasn't that bad. And if it was it wasn't a big deal. And if it was then it wasn't his direct decision. And if it was he didn't mean it. And if he did it wasn't illegal. And if it was he has immunity as an ex-president. Joe Biden's Murder Team 6 is now en route, please do not leave the premises.

Bro. It's a cyberattack, bro. There's literally no other explanation, bro. It explains everything

Leave the World Behind is the adaptation of a book by Rumam Alaam. So if anybody is the evil mastermind, it's him. Apparently, besides writing thrillers, he hosts two podcasts for Slate. Yep, sounds like a Bond villian to me!

But…like…what is all this shit about Obama being connected to that movie? I kept seeing it, but just basically assumed maybe he had some money invested in it, but I can’t find a connection to him anywhere in any information. Is this just a complete fabrication? Or is it more of an over assumption of a small connection?
- One of the production companies connected to the film, Higher Ground Productions, was founded by the Obamas. They are credited as executive producers. Apparently Barack is a fan of the book.

Oh, c'mon, give a little credit.

Mikhail, or Ivan, or whoever put a little effort into that one!

I’m convinced

Right? I mean this is solid irrefutable evidence.
I thought the lesson was like, "that film was pretty prescient". I was convinced until the Bible quote!