Political commentators should avoid open, outdoor venues, law enforcement expert says
kriz @ kriz @slrpnk.net Posts 34Comments 157Joined 2 yr. ago
SLPT: Do all your criminal planning while swimming. Less chance of wires or electronic surveillance.
SLPT: Do all your criminal planning while swimming. Less chance of wires or electronic surveillance.
SLPT: Cover your hands with glue and let it dry. You now have the rough hands of a working man.
SLPT: If you are up too late, move your bed to the western most part of your house or apartment.
SLPT: If you buy a new clock or appliance, wait until noon to plug it in so you don't have to bother setting the time.
SLPT: Floss can be rinsed and used again, just like your toothbrush
SLPT: Glue a dead wasp to your hand to allow you hit your boss as hard as you want.
SLPT: The name "Super Bowl" is taken, but "Super Plate", "Super Mug", "Super Fork", and "Super Carafe" are all still available to be monetized.
SLPT: Instead of making a big mess ripping out each page you have read of a book, just cross each page out with a marker.
SLPT: If you struggle to understand the lyrics to a song, most likely it's just about heroin.
SLPT: Any cash money given to you when you work a cash register is your money! It was handed over to you! You get to decide how much to keep and how much to give to the business.
SLPT: Need some space? You can yell "Get off my property!" from just about anywhere. Few people ever actually check the paperwork to prove it.
SLPT: Save your burned out light bulbs. Next time you stay at an AirB&B, switch them out for working ones.
SLPT: It's pretty easy to just follow an Amazon delivery van around and get free packages. Make a quick blue vest if you feel nervous to deflect suspicion.
SLPT: Wearing a shirt that says "For entertainment purposes only" in large letters could get you out of legal trouble for your actions
SLPT: Not happy with your living situation? It could be a lot worse. If you were on Mars you wouldn't even have enough oxygen to breathe! Venus would crush and boil you!
SLPT: Need an item? Check out stores! There are a lot of different kinds and most towns have them. It's a quick and easy way to get an item.
SLPT: If you are in a dangerous situation and someone yells "Duck!", make sure they aren't talking about the bird or you could end up looking real stupid.
Wow galaxy brain expert!