The whole idea of "Canon" is a comforting self delusion and lie.
Let it go. Enjoy what's in front of you. Stop getting distracted by things that don't really matter to the story at hand. That's how TOS did it.
Star Trek should have been the property that influences the entire culture of the United States of America, like how Doctor Who influences the culture of the United Kingdom. Instead, US culture is based around Star Wars and Star Trek is regulated to a bunch of punchlines that normal people know just enough to understand.
I mean there's nothing wrong with your second point about enjoying what you like and not getting distracted by minutiae, buuuut unlike other franchises Star Trek quite literally does have an official canon: