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reading this thread I'm glad I'm a removed in a relationship. my spouse is the best. i got so fucking lucky.
there's a massive epidemic of loneliness out there. the loss of the free/cheap third spaces, lockdowns, and social media have made a fucking shitstorm. I'm scared for the generations below me just starting to enter the workforce. so many kids just unable to function properly.
i can't solve it. but I've been putting my devices down more and (trying) to get out more. get more sunlight and fresh air, even if i just sit outside and watch the ducks. it's hard out there. give yourself a break, okay? eat a snack and take a walk.
the loss of the free/cheap third spaces, lockdowns, and social media
I think that the growing push towards individualism and the dismantling of any kind of reciprocal relationship network are the main cause of this. I feel like years ago people could form sincere bonds and relationships but now everything is as atomised as possible and sincere interactions have been replaced with ironic performances to try to maintain as much distance as possible, even if unconsciously.
This obviously is great for the rich and powerful, so it's encouraged in media, pop culture, workplace regulations and organization, etc.
the dismantling of any kind of reciprocal relationship
This! I've been saying this for years now. "The village" that it takes to get through life in a healthy way has been completely dismantled and commodified.
You hear people who don't know their neighbors names, or just call the cops on kids in their neighborhood cause the parents aren't around instead of just watching out for them, or people saying they wouldn't take their friends to the airport cause "there's nothing in it for them", and a million other little things.
We are social creatures, we need other people to help us out. But people seem to be uninterested in anything further than their own nose.