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Out of date tbh - It's never a labyrinthine phone tree anymore, it's a "natural speech" based menu that can never help with more than the most basic inquiries like "how much is my bill?" and still stubbornly refuses to put you in the queue for a real person.
Sometimes cursing will get you connected to a human.
I'm my experience it'll just hang up
It doesn't even take swearing for some of them - I had one earlier this week that hung up on me when I tried pressing zero to see if that got me anywhere. Touchier than humans.
Comcast once hung up on me because the system wanted to transfer me to a department whose phone system hadn't yet be set up in my region...the system force transfered me to a number that didn't exist and I was immediately disconnected.
My pharmacy is ridiculously short-staffed because of summer, so they're only open for 3 hours in the afternoon. But because everyone is calling in those 3 hours, it's so busy you don't even get put on hold, it just says the wait time is too long and to email them and hangs up, lmao.
I've found that "new customer" sometimes gets you a human quicker..
Like how the registration button is always easier to find on a website vs the login button?
Love to scream at my phone because the fucking robot can't understand me.
Key presses are so simple! Why do I have to talk to the dumb fucking robot?!
It's astounding how universal this hatred is. No one likes these things except the people who think it saves on labor costs (which, does it even? they're replacing a menu that was already automated...)
Speak to a representative. “Sorry I didn’t understand that”
The worst is when they phrase the response as if there was just some slight, funny misunderstanding on the part of the machine; "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that! Did you want to..."
For some reason that one really drives my ire.
I've got a worse one than that- a fake typing sound effect. I've heard that one more than once.
The fake typing is the worst. It just sounds like someone slamming random keys.
Hold on while we look up your account.
Fuck you. How can it possibly take any time to query a SQL database in 2023? The first tenth of the second of you calling them they should have taken your number and pulled it up.