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Which sites promote bullying or hate?
  • Reddit, mostly IMO. Mayyybe 4chan, from what I've heard (I don't use it).

  • What are your thoughts on my fiancé’s friend/ex by how he talks to him? Is it controlling or am I overreacting?
  • Thank you! He doesn’t want to because he doesn’t want to abandon him, he says :(

  • What are your thoughts on my fiancé’s friend/ex by how he talks to him? Is it controlling or am I overreacting?
  • Not normally, he says, but at times he will. He tells my fiancé he “never cares or listens”. That is far from true knowing him.

    Also, fiancé is 17, I’m 18, friend is 19

  • I’m starting to think I’m narcissistic.
  • Thank you! I’m not sure, actually, probably behavioral triggers but IDK

  • What do I do?
  • Thank you!!

  • What do I do?
  • I must add she also tries to manipulate situations to get people in trouble, then gets mad when they get mad at her for getting them in trouble. She asks if they hate her and thinks she was just randomly hated for no reason.

  • What do I do?

    I (18F) have a sister (14F) who I love a lot, but I don’t know how to help her. She thinks I’m always mad at her or that I hate her.

    She’s very sensitive to tone, so she assumed that if something isn’t said in the way she wants, that they want her to leave and DESPISE her.

    She also tends to think if you don’t absolutely approve of her and love everything she does, that you hate her. She has tried sabotaging many friendships under the belief that they hate her and want to abandon her. She goes from thinking they’re wonderful to thinking they’re terrible people very quickly.

    10
    Do we need to respect our abusers?
  • I wouldn’t do it to anyone.

    That makes a lot of sense, though. Someone said they only do it to their trans abuser and my friend said it was valid because they were abused. This is very educational, thanks!

  • Do we need to respect our abusers?
  • Thank you 🙏 I get it now

  • Do we need to respect our abusers?
  • Ohhh, okay, thank you!

  • NSFW
    Why can’t some people accept that all genders can be weird?
  • I am so sorry to hear 🫂

    My bully made sexual comments to other girls but told me my disability made me too disgusting to ever be SA’d because “no one wants a disabled woman”.

  • What is actual forgiveness and why am I expected to?

    The things I hear a lot are that an abuser or bully was just a kid, that she isn’t a bad person and that I’m being judgemental for saying something so mean just because I’m angry, that no one can be truly bad, that I have to forgive her, et cetera.

    What actually is forgiveness? Do I have to forgive her? Sure, maybe no one can be truly bad, maybe she’s not a bad person, but I am angry. I am not saying this to her face.

    Also, she knows what she’s doing and intentionally hurts others for pleasure. In my opinion, maybe not yours, that does make her a bad person. If she changes and stops it, then she isn’t a bad person anymore, but she was when I knew her.

    11
    how do i explain “it’s raining” to my boyfriend?
  • he doesn't know what's raining

  • how do i explain “it’s raining” to my boyfriend?
  • “It’s raining outside”, or just explain it in his native language.

  • To my abuser and bully (since lemm.ee is shutting down)

    Fuck you for trying to control me.

    For trying to tell me what I can and can’t do.

    For telling me that I would never find love.

    For telling me my disorders make me a weak, useless animal.

    For calling me sub-human and treating me as such.

    For thinking of me as less than I am.

    For calling me a child and treating me like you’ve said I was: a “retard”.

    For getting your (who were also my) “friends” to turn on me and threaten me and stalk me.

    For making fun of people with disabilities.

    For harassing my FRIENDS.

    Fuck you.

    I actually, truly hate you. I don’t just feel disappointed anymore. It’s some sort of hatred. I will never speak to you and your friend(s) again.

    I don’t want to speak to you. I’m way better off than you. I have a fiancé, friends, and a loving family.

    You tried to hurt me. You said it was my fault.

    You said I made you hurt me, that I made your friend stalk me and make sexual harassment comments and even pretend to ask me out so you could make fun of me.

    I realized you never actually loved me. You were a fake, abusive asshole. You suck. I hate you so damn much. But I’m moving on.

    You’re right. I don’t deserve someone like you. I should have listened to you when you said you were a fake, toxic person who doesn’t like anyone but yourself. When you said I wasn’t who I thought you were.

    You were right. And I eventually listened. I got past the bias and the loneliness. I’m no longer lonely. I found love and friends and don’t need you anymore. I don’t need your false love or friendship. I don’t need to be biased against you and think that was love to combat the loneliness I no longer have.

    He loves me. You don’t.

    They like me. You don’t.

    They accept me. You don’t and didn’t.

    And you can shove your fake apology, fake tears, and fake love up your butt, because the damage towards me and others is too great. I forgive you for peace of mind, but I will never speak to you or trust you again.

    You hurt me, act like nothing happened, then pull me in again. It’s a “never-ending” cycle but people have limits. I have limits. I was your most loving friend and you threw me away for my disability.

    You probably will never find someone more willing to put up with your crap, or it will be very hard. Not for someone who knows the real you. They don’t know you, that’s why they support you. Or they’re messed up themselves. I may be one of the only ones who knows you. The only one who knows you better is probably yourself.

    You were right when we were friends and you were nice and you said “You know me, but you don’t know me.” I didn’t know the real you, but now I do. I trusted you and you threw me out. It’s my fault I introduced you to my friends and they threw me away. They sided with you in the end and I won’t trust them either.

    Fuck you. Maybe them, too, brainwashed as they are. They think you’re the victim. They don’t know the real you, and I pity them, but they did damage too that they just can’t fix right away. Therefore I don’t trust them either.

    Bye. I’m healing. I’m stronger now. I have love and a life and friends. I’m not as miserable as you are to hurt others. ✌️ ❤️

    1
    To an abuser and bully

    Fuck you for trying to control me.

    For trying to tell me what I can and can’t do.

    For telling me that I would never find love.

    For telling me my disorders make me a weak, useless animal.

    For calling me sub-human and treating me as such.

    For thinking of me as less than I am.

    For calling me a child and treating me like you’ve said I was: a “retard”.

    For getting your (who were also my) “friends” to turn on me and threaten me and stalk me.

    For making fun of people with disabilities.

    For harassing my FRIENDS.

    Fuck you.

    I actually, truly hate you. I don’t just feel disappointed anymore. It’s some sort of hatred. I will never speak to you and your friend(s) again.

    I don’t want to speak to you. I’m way better off than you. I have a fiancé, friends, and a loving family.

    You tried to hurt me. You said it was my fault.

    You said I made you hurt me, that I made your friend stalk me and make sexual harassment comments and even pretend to ask me out so you could make fun of me.

    I realized you never actually loved me. You were a fake, abusive asshole. You suck. I hate you so damn much. But I’m moving on.

    You’re right. I don’t deserve someone like you. I should have listened to you when you said you were a fake, toxic person who doesn’t like anyone but yourself. When you said I wasn’t who I thought you were.

    You were right. And I eventually listened. I got past the bias and the loneliness. I’m no longer lonely. I found love and friends and don’t need you anymore. I don’t need your false love or friendship. I don’t need to be biased against you and think that was love to combat the loneliness I no longer have.

    He loves me. You don’t.

    They like me. You don’t.

    They accept me. You don’t and didn’t.

    And you can shove your fake apology, fake tears, and fake love up your butt, because the damage towards me and others is too great. I forgive you for peace of mind, but I will never speak to you or trust you again.

    You hurt me, act like nothing happened, then pull me in again. It’s a “never-ending” cycle but people have limits. I have limits. I was your most loving friend and you threw me away for my disability.

    You probably will never find someone more willing to put up with your crap, or it will be very hard. Not for someone who knows the real you. They don’t know you, that’s why they support you. Or they’re messed up themselves. I may be one of the only ones who knows you. The only one who knows you better is probably yourself.

    You were right when we were friends and you were nice and you said “You know me, but you don’t know me.” I didn’t know the real you, but now I do. I trusted you and you threw me out. It’s my fault I introduced you to my friends and they threw me away. They sided with you in the end and I won’t trust them either.

    Fuck you. Maybe them, too, brainwashed as they are. They think you’re the victim. They don’t know the real you, and I pity them, but they did damage too that they just can’t fix right away. Therefore I don’t trust them either.

    Bye. I’m healing. I’m stronger now. I have love and a life and friends. I’m not as miserable as you are to hurt others. ✌️ ❤️

    1
    Someone who bullied me grew up and doesn’t care about anything

    Racism, genocides, discrimination, war, none of it. She would gladly watch people die and get hurt and I know she would because it doesn’t hinder or even “affect” her (it does).

    How can people be like this and watch people suffer? Abuse people and hurt minorities and not care if they get mass killed? What is wrong with people? Why?? There’s no hope for an adult like this IMO.

    2
    Did anyone else used to have a very jealous partner, especially from trauma?

    We will talk it out, I’m not venting but rather just wanted to talk about it.

    So, my fiancé “David” (17M) and I (18F) are quite clingy. We have trauma and abandonment issues. I’ll admit, I’m working on my flaws early in our engagement and getting to know each other more. My flaws are: when I miss David, I really miss him. I try not to get upset when he calls his friends and I can’t join. He would let me, but sometimes I get asocial LOL.

    David can also be clingy and text several times in the span of 10 minutes if I don’t respond. We are both clingy. This is normal, I believe, and I’ve seen 40 year olds who are married do this, but David can get very upset at the fact I have man friends despite the fact that he has woman friends.

    David and I got engaged earlier this month and have been dating for several months after his previous toxic relationship “Josephine” broke up with him.

    Josephine would constantly insult him, cheat on him, and abandon him like several people would already do to him. Josephine really messed him up after the breakup, so he gets really mad at a guy I have known even before I was friends with David, Matthew (19M).

    Matthew is straight (we are all allies though), just like everyone mentioned in this post, but he already has a girlfriend and has made it clear he has no romantic feelings for me or anyone else who isn’t his girlfriend.

    I told David I wouldn’t let Matthew call me pretty again because he complimented my outfit and David got angry. David, though, has trauma. I don’t need advice, just a discussion, and we will both work through our PTSD and abandonment issues. ❤️ 💍

    7
    What are the requirements to graduate from college cum laude?

    I’m 18 years old and graduated high school. I plan to go to college, but I’m curious what you need to graduate cum laude because I heard someone (clearly older than me) say they graduated cum laude.

    24
    Too Afraid To Ask @lemmy.ml relation_anon4238 @thelemmy.club
    My FIL-to-be has a lot of erratic behaviors, what mental illness does he show signs of?

    Obviously like the other questions like this say, it’s not a diagnosis. Plus, this guy refuses help, but I know it’s surely something his behavior indicates.

    According to my fiancé, he:

    sensitive content
    • engages in risky behaviors (like self-harm)

    • explosive fits of anger

    • fits of depression

    • fears abandonment

    • abusive and controlling behavior (beats people up, doesn’t want his family talking to others, scared his wife will cheat on him)

    • hears voices in his head telling him to kill loved ones

    3
    “That guy laughs at you because you’re autistic” Helpful or offensive?

    I have a friend (18M) who always tells me when someone is being rude. Specifically it was one dude in senior year. I have since graduated. I am no longer in high school.

    It doesn’t seem to be from a place of cruelty but rather ignorance and trying to be “funny” by going “ahahaha autistic woman hahahaha!”

    The school counselor, however, told him to point that out was unintentionally offensive (He is also autistic and can’t understand certain social things sometimes.)

    2
    Why do people care so much that their friend or family member’s partner is attractive and not just loving?

    Like, seriously, I have had a few people talk about how my fiancé wasn’t conventionally attractive, but he’s attractive to me :)

    Plus, he’s good to me, and I don’t date for looks. I’ve had conventionally attractive exes too who have been horrible people, so…

    75
    May be weird, but saying you like “boys” or like a “boy”.

    Even in high school, though we’re minors (unless you’re an 18+ senior), I found the phrasing odd. I say man as an adult. I said “guy” instead in high school. Maybe it’s because I’m neurodivergent and it sounded better to my autistic brain. I dunno.

    My fiancé isn’t a boy, I would never say I liked a boy or was engaged to a boy. I usually say a guy or a man, especially once he finally hits age 18.

    Edit: Worse in a story I read. 25M, gay, says he wants to “prey on boys”. I can assure you this was not their intention and they meant he wanted to look for men around his age, but you know how it sounds,

    4
    Too Afraid To Ask @lemmy.ml relation_anon4238 @thelemmy.club
    Why do people have violent behaviors and say they were “just mad”?

    Like, no, you trying to beat me up every time I don’t do what you want can’t be excused with “just being mad”.

    3
    My dad pretended to be a 17-year-old girl so I’d speak to him again.

    I did say I haven’t spoken to him since he moved out of the house to a hotel. This is true.

    However, he’s been trying to reach me online and is desperate. My father (54M) is a narcissist. Though a lot of narcissists can be well-intentioned, he has done more harm than good.

    My father is an alcoholic. Though he stopped for a year or two after becoming really nasty and getting himself and possibly us banned in more than one place, he started drinking again.

    I knew my father was a narcissist. I tried to be on good terms with him despite his “eccentricities.” When I received a message from him asking to tell my mom to get back with him, I reluctantly told her and she didn’t want to.

    He got mad at me for this and said I betrayed him and brought dishonor to our Chinese family (we’re white Europeans, by the way, with no affiliation to China). Anyway, I blocked him and so did the rest of the family.

    Later, on instagram, I found an account with a profile picture of something I was interested in trying to chat with me, claiming to be a 17 year old girl. When I started to chat with “her”, she eventually brought up the “dishonor” again because “she” is Chinese and would know.

    He has also said “ 你给家族带来了耻辱,真是可耻!” He is not Chinese, but speaks it at least a bit. I blocked that “girl” and I’m really hoping he doesn’t do it again. What do I do?

    6
    Someday, I plan to go to Europe, specifically Portugal & Spain. What’s the best region to go to so I can learn a language similar but not the same and expose myself to different cultures?

    I’m looking for a region that speaks both Portuguese and Spanish but also maybe another similar, less spoken Romance language.

    It can have similar culture but also different, unique culture. Either has to be in Spain or Portugal or nearby them so I could just drive to either country.

    8
    Do you have to be fluent in these languages to be a polyglot, or am I considered one?

    I can confidently say that I speak Portuguese, Spanish, and English to varying degrees. However, at a beginner level, I know Norwegian, Italian, and Polish. I also am probably at a very beginner level in Russian and French, both of which I’m learning and getting better at. I’m conversing with French people.

    My fiancé says I’m a polyglot, but I don’t know if I’m just trilingual or not.

    34
    Estou no nível de C1. O que ainda tenho que estudar neste nível?

    Não sei. Tenho estudado o português há 2 anos mas tenho estudado o espanhol há 4. Consigo entender coisas muito rapidamente e vários testes me indicaram que estou em um nível avançado, ou pelo menos em um alto B2.

    Não vejo muitos cursos sobre o nível C1 - parece que param no B2. Eu sei que não terminei com minha jornada.

    8
    Congrats Like I’m Five @lemmy.ml relation_anon4238 @thelemmy.club
    About a year sober!

    I was peer pressured by my ex and a guy from school. He was an alcoholic and convinced me that alcohol was “cool”. I haven’t done alcohol though since a year or so ago. (Maybe New Year’s 2024?)

    6
    What did your engagement ring cost, married/engaged people?

    To me, money isn’t everything. It’d be nice if I got something that cost a lot, but I’d also be fine with something cheap as long as it’s high-quality and not like a Temu ring or something.

    We got each other the same ring off Amazon for $12.😂 😅

    50
    Father called me a “leftist”. How is this an insult??

    I don’t know where to put this.

    I’m a bicurious/hetero young white woman with Christian white parents. My dad found out I support gay rights despite identifying as straight. He didn’t really like that I have a Hispanic fiancé (he was okay with it, but he was like “you could do better, come on.”)

    He called me a “leftist lib” because I support interracial marriages, gay marriages, trans rights, etc. How can you use supporting these things an insult though??

    I also really want acceptance as someone who is neurodivergent and has seen neurodivergent people and minorities be bullied/discriminated against and also has been bullied themself.

    26
    relation_anon4238 relation_anon4238 @thelemmy.club

    🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 N

    🇵🇹 C1

    🇪🇸 B1/B2

    🇯🇵 (?) (understand more than I remember)

    🇮🇹 A1

    🇳🇴 A1

    🇵🇱 A1

    🇨🇳 A0-A1

    🇫🇷 A0

    🇷🇺 A0(?)

    🇩🇪 A0

    Posts 21
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