Same, though I always tried to focus on pecs with as targeted of exercises as possible. When the gain spilled over into shoulders I started to panic and stopped going to the gym.

My list is probably same as most others...

• Dating trans women
• Watching trans porn
• Jealousy of women
• Hatred of masculinity
• Nonbinary Internet persona
• Avoidance of all haircare and skincare products marketed to men
• Crossdressing while in total denial of own transness

Nonbinary?

Depression gang here. I'm in therapy. Does it help? I don't know, but I'm also a full-time student, which at least distracts. I'm dating a guy who has my level of depression but lacks my sex drive and middle-class background, and I've had meaningful long-distance relationships as well, so I understand what you're experiencing. The trouble is that depression has many causes, and if it's chronic then you can get triggered by something and your whole day is ruined at the very least, and sometimes these spells last for months. There is no easy cure, but if he'll listen you can give him basic advice on finding help.

I had a strong feeling of being bisexual in high school. Was totally open about it but nobody listened because I was a virgin.

I'm disappointed that there isn't more information provided on what he looked like after 10 years. I imagine partially decomposed and not preserved since he was on the outside of the fridge. People would have smelled something for a while and probably dismissed it as food waste.

Grindr is full of kinky people. It's also full of ad spam and bots. Scruff is a little more dignified but it's mainly for bears, and the more attractive of them sometimes put things like "no fem" on their profiles. The only one I wouldn't recommend is Recon, which is kink-focused, and only because I've never even come close to getting a date through that, though I am in the US.

Apps I haven't tried: I hear Barq is good for furries. Feeld is a kink-focused app but I think it's mostly straight people.

I'm sorry for all of these things you feel, some of which I too feel. Maybe you could try counseling (again, assuming that was part of your process for getting HRT). I started HRT about a year ago at 31 and I was socially transitioning for 6 months before that. I don't trouble myself with the metaphysical, but I definitely relate to gender dysphoria and depression.

Regarding trans acceptance, I think the congresswoman's views are maybe a bit too moderate, and civil rights are things to fight for when 1/3 of the country possibly hates us. It took over 100 years after emancipation for African-Americans to gain acceptance without segregation. In the country's history, we have never had a woman in the White House, except for Harris's vice-presidency. Equality takes a strong effort against the current of neo-Nazism and other brands of hatred, and I hope the many decades of trans history (when trans people have been known as such) mean enough to people that a basic level of public acceptance without open hatred can be found in the places we live.

That sucks. I'm on my way to getting counseling for some of what I feel. I'm using non-binary gender identity as a way to bridge to where I'm going, but a lot of American institutions under the dictator are forced into black-and-white logics. I can only reassure you that hairy arms are normal for most adults, including my mother. It isn't hard to shave them, though I recommend hair removal cream around the wrist bones to avoid cuts.

I don't tuck and don't know beyond trusting spiro to do its job. Responding because I thought the title was "advice on fucking" which I can definitely provide. :)

A few months I was walking, possibly jaywalking, and someone shouted "BITCH!" out of their car window as they passed me. That was probably the only time I've ever passed for cis.

The only thing I do is makeup. It's a skill that takes time to learn, so it accomplishes consumption of time, gender affirmation, and self-improvement.

It's always tricky to find a natural way to start a conversation. On the one hand, social finesse signals some degree of experience or respectability. On the other, I think it would be adorable if someone like your friend just stared at me and said "I want to fuck you". Either way could work.

At least he's got the grindr skills. That's the part I'm trying to self-improve. When I was in high school people shut me down a lot, and rather than getting some encouragement in the nature of "you might be gay; just be yourself", people thought I was weird and had little to say to me. I internalized that to the point where everything I say is now couched in consideration of people maybe not being receptive or not liking me, and every ping I get on an app I consider in the context of potential harm or abandonment, rather than just hooking up with people like a normal person. I'm assuming there is a gay bar or something like that in your area. I'm sorry you find him offputting.

Hey man, speak for yourself. While I appreciate the emotional stability of not being single, my partner and I keep an open relationship for a reason. I live for sex. There are plenty of people who feel as I do into their 70s, and as long as your friend understands that he might have to set his standards aside and let a 300lb bear take over if he's really that horny, I'm sure he'll get some. Every little thing we do, even just sitting quietly and looking cute, is a mating strategy.

My strategy when I had less confidence was to just sit quietly in a corner and wait for someone to talk to me. That's how I met one of my former long-term partners, and it's also how I ended up in a lot of bar conversations with disappointing outcomes - "why are you in x town?" "why are you still in college?" "why don't you like older men?" etc. There's the cute kind of tism where you keep pokemon plushies and talk like a little girl, which seems to be the most common kind. Then there are the creepy variants, which are products of unpracticed overconfidence.

I think your friend should avoid bothering people in-person until he's been approached enough and had enough partners to not scare people off. Until then, he should be his cute little self, quiet and polite at the gay bar, and save the sexual aggression for apps where it's expected. You could also take him to kink events, which are good social practice for members of the community.

I sympathize with these feelings, and I'm sorry you've had to wait so long to get this taken care of. Be confident that it isn't that far in the future.

As for my experiences, I can personally relate to gender dysphoria but not genital dysphoria. I missed out on a lot of gay experiences when I was younger because, while I've always liked dicks, I've never seen masculinity as a positive trait, and the one gay guy I knew in high school was very masc and went to the gym and stuff. I'm dating another transfem with a similar background to my own, and (perhaps because they look more feminine than I do and have stronger dysphoria) they're asking me to boymode, which I hadn't done in about a year. I do it because I care about them and desperately need that relationship. (Abandonment issues.) Plus it's just something different.

My suggestion, beyond taking solace in the fact that you have a surgery planned, is to spend time with a partner, be it someone who is trans or someone who understands the trans experience more than a completely cis person. Intimacy with someone you're attracted to and know and understand can be therapeutic.

I'm sorry you're going through that. Since we're sharing... A few years ago, I (amab) started feeling really uncomfortable being called a "man" and especially the honorific "sir", so I adopted the nonbinary label in online communities to avoid any kind of gendering. But it wasn't enough, and almost a year after that I learned makeup techniques and bought some fem clothes at a thrift store, and things kept going in that direction without any attempt on my part to hide it.

I'm not sure I understand the truly genderless perspective of people I've known, but the desire to remove cisgendered attributes from one's self is the part that resonates with me. My facial hair, my voice, and my height are all nasty reminders. I boymode when explicitly asked to (like by my partner, who is the same as me) but I don't think I could tolerate a setting or organization trying to make me present as cis-het. I'm basically fem every day in a town that has some trouble respecting that, but I'm also attending a college where this is fairly normal.

Welcome to the club. I'm in America so obviously my experience is a bit different and there are gaps in my cultural knowledge.

1. I don't know. Generally any LGBTQ group should suit you, and if there is a gay bar I highly recommend going. Gay/trans/queer/whatever people are all sort of part of the same community, and I guess people assume that something both NB-specific and local might not draw as large of a group, but I could be completely wrong.

2. I don't know much about this either, except anecdotally about shorter haircuts becoming popular among American women around that time, coincident with the rise of high culture in New York and other major cities, as well as some progress in feminist movements. I imagine queer people were still closeted though.

3. I have a waist that's anywhere from 26" to 31", equivalent to a small or medium (depending on country of origin, brand, gender, and stretch. Read the reviews.) Skirts from China tend to run small, and you should also consider that your hips are a different size from your waist. You can wear a skirt at any vertical position, but also consider that your hips might block it from going all the way up if the zipper is too small and there is no elastic.

A year ago I spent a couple hours shopping for the perfect stripper-style microskirt in my size, and while it fits perfectly, when I wear it I look like the "problem" that far-right characters are trying to "solve". Miniskirts are acceptable for most people, microskirts are better for especially hot wearers or select settings. I've never been a fan of dresses, but a former AMAB partner with a similar body to what you describe ordered one that fit them perfectly. I believe they used a tape measure at different positions to get a precise size.

Are you my boyfriend? jk jk but as a non-binary transfem who gets misgendered every day and has a lot of male-coded attributes I can sorta relate. I think if you're medically transitioning that probably means your dysphoria is worse. If one of your male-coded qualities is stoicism, I recommend letting your sadness show more visibly and communicating more openly about how you feel and what you're thinking. That way, people are less likely to call your judgment into question.