I was faced with a similar decision many years ago. At the time, I don't think I could have enumerated all the problems I saw as clearly as you did above. Instead I was just filled with a vague sense of dread about trying to make a life in the US vs. a hopeful opportunity abroad. It made any long term planning nearly impossible, and it became clear that the future was somewhere beyond for me.
It was a good decision. It was still hard, as life tends to be. Culture shock hits hard after about one year and the glow of the honeymoon period wears off, and then a longer term acclimation process begins. Strictly staying within the social circle of the expat bubble is not recommended. Becoming part of the community, putting down roots, learning language, forming new friendships, following the different laws and social customs are all long term deep challenges. It also means family and friends are more distant. Those relationships change for better and worse.
Seek a good US tax specialist accountant early on for advice. The US still expects citizens to file taxes and report FBAR, even if the amount of tax owing is zero due to tax treaties.
Final advice: Whatever you choose, do it for positive reasons. The long term is a marathon and you need something to sustain you. It's better to run towards something rather than run away.
Why stop there? Girlnemesis. Girlcomrade. Girlally. Girlchampion. Girlquaintance. Girlconfidante. Girlboss. Girllisteningear. Girlgirlfriend.
Speedrun any %, a defense strategy whitepaper on China, without using words "Red, Tiger, Dragon, Sino-, Mao, soft power, 5-year plan, or paper. "
It's hard to write a comment, but so far 11 people have upvoted, so just think there are 11 people seeing you and giving you a hug.
Stay safe, friend.
David Attenborough voiceover
"Americans, like the common clownfish and some species of frogs, can change sex. While these other animals do so during times of environmental stress or population imbalance, Americans can do so via a strange, opaque process called, "The Executive Order." Unlike their aquatic peers who change on an individual basis, the entire population of Americans changes all at once. This behavior is otherwise unknown in the animal kingdom, and it is unclear what evolutionary advantage this offers, if any."
In retrospect, it's funny to me now that I was feeling afraid and sick to my stomach to the point of shaking and nearly throwing up, and their response was just so relaxed and cool. I asked if they weren't surprised and the answer was no.
Like... WHO AM I FOOLING? ONLY MYSELF? DID EVERYONE ELSE GET THE MEMO FIRST?
Ugh, same. Can't bear to think how many people I must have alienated or hurt with such behavior. I suppose there's nothing to be done about the past, but listen to its lessons to be better, kinder me in the future.
I came out to the one person that matters most, and everything was OK. Like better than OK. What was the point of all that internal torture I put myself through? Finally feel like I can breathe again.
Still think the gods are having a huge laugh at my expense over the timing though.
Your comment made me realize with new clarity how much male relationships are built on a shock factor comedic antics and edgy humor, which include casual homophobia and misogyny, racism or just generally "punching down."
But also, ick.
🎶
I can't see clearly now dysphoria's gone.
I can clear all obstacles to my peace.
We're all our worst critics in our own heads.
Wanna see your bright, bright beautiful smile.
🎶
I'm afraid to ask, but was balding an issue for you? (You mentioned several decades.) And is there anything to be done? I'm having next level dysphoria about my hair right now.
Had my own That Dream recently.
You know how in the movie Interstellar, there is the tesseract, an endless matrix grid showing moments in space and time?
In the dream I am in my own Trans Tesseract, seeing images of myself at future points in time going through the various stages of transition.
Woke up and my first thought was, "What a very normal cishet dream. I think I need to check some things..."
The people are all gone, the Langoliers just haven't shown up yet.