Thats gut-wrenching man, I'm so sorry, that's a horrifying loss
I have a sleep disorder that often leaves me very isolated in spite of my connections- feeling disconnected from anyone around you is brutal, it does rough things to your head
It doesn't help that making friends as an adult is incredibly hard. Most of my friends came from going to events in my local kink community and that has helped, but I've been trying to brainstorm more ways to feel connected to community when my sleep allows. The universalist unitarian churches seem interesting, they're essentially secular (I'm very much an atheist) and are very progressive. It might be kinda nice to pick up a hobby like martial arts or rock climbing but those cost money and I am very broke right for the time being 😅
I hope that in the not too distant future more good folks find their way into your life, isolation can take a very heavy toll 🫂
That sounds like an extremely good way to ensure they cling even tighter to the lies sold by the Tates of the world
Antagonism is extremely effective at shutting people off from change. If you antagonize someone and they actually change, they almost certainly could have been better reached through compassion.
And when, like the vast majority of people exposed to antagonism, they don't? You have now convinced them anyone outside their bubble is unreasonable and cruel, and given them a sense of persecution they will reflexively hide behind any time they're confronted with an outside perspective
There being causes for someone's cruelty doesn't change their responsibility for it, but understanding those causes is vital if you wish to do anything about the fact that it is a persistent societal issue.
I don't think ill socialized, emotionally unwell, harmful people should be fuckable, I think that we need to recognize that they are ill socialized, and emotionally unwell, if we'd like there to be fewer harmful people in the future.
I think you might benefit from trying the "local" feed, which is just your home instance :)
It could perhaps be better communicated though, but I'm not sure what framing or label might make it more clear what local means for less technical folks
It might just be something people need to learn because the fediverse is a different thing than traditional social platforms. But I don't think that possibility should stop us from improving clarity if we can think of a good way to do so :)
Mocking and deriding people is very effective at radicalizing them, please do not do that, it consistently makes the problem worse.
I get that they would deserve that behaviour if they are advocating sexual assault, but if you care about that person, or the cultural issues they're succumbing to, or the rising sentiment that men have to be rapey to ever have success with women, please don't do that, it's detrimental to the cause.
Unfortunately, in addition to being discouraged from camaraderie and bonding, many boys and young men are also discouraged from ever developing the emotional security needed to see, or outwardly acknowledge that they are lonely and suffering from their lack of connections to others beyond sex.
They are instead taught that any form of vulnerability (like acknowledging their unmet need for connection) is weakness they should be ashamed of because it's unbecoming of a man
We really do men and boys a huge disservice :(. Sometimes you hear the idea that we should "teach men not to rape, rather than teach women to protect themselves", but I've never heard anyone talk about how in practice what that would look like, is raising emotionally healthy and secure, interpersonally competent boys, who are equipped to handle difficult emotional situations and the hormones that will show up as teenagers.
I've been running linux for a long time now, and I adore it. I love that it solves my problems with technology and offers me something better, and that I can be a part of that, even if just as a user. Someday I'd love to be able to do more bug reports to actual distros like I do smaller FOSS projects.
But there's definitely a sizable chunk of linux people who are frankly insufferable, and it makes me sad. It feels like a really unnecessary dark stain on something I sincerely love.
Some people made social skills and emotional competence their dump stats I guess :/ not entirely sure what the solution might be, other than acknowledging it and not being a part of it.
Huh.. I cross post stuff regularly just to try and help spread where people can see stuff given how small the fediverse is, I hadn't considered someone might find it annoying if I regularly cross-posted their submissions
There's a mastodon artist I follow who hand paints queer erotica in guache- she's been loosing her mind trying to find any way to monetize her work for a while now
I think the payment processors were happy to have an excuse to deny handling these transactions. She's been having trouble since long before this current situation, and making it impossible for her to financially provide for herself sure as fuck isn't good for anyone except puritanical queerphobic shitheads :(
Cris @ Cris_Color @lemmy.world Posts 88Comments 3,176Joined 2 yr. ago
Thats gut-wrenching man, I'm so sorry, that's a horrifying loss
I have a sleep disorder that often leaves me very isolated in spite of my connections- feeling disconnected from anyone around you is brutal, it does rough things to your head
It doesn't help that making friends as an adult is incredibly hard. Most of my friends came from going to events in my local kink community and that has helped, but I've been trying to brainstorm more ways to feel connected to community when my sleep allows. The universalist unitarian churches seem interesting, they're essentially secular (I'm very much an atheist) and are very progressive. It might be kinda nice to pick up a hobby like martial arts or rock climbing but those cost money and I am very broke right for the time being 😅
I hope that in the not too distant future more good folks find their way into your life, isolation can take a very heavy toll 🫂