I'm not gonna repeat exactly what I said last time about your appearance, because that's not what this post is really about. You're being hopeless and annoying right now by complaining that you might as well detransition, despite it being unlikely that you'll ever do so without external pressure.
I think deep down you know how miserable it'd make you, and you only wanna detransition because you feel like hurting yourself. It's not that your struggle isn't valid, as this struggle is worth talking about in more constructive ways; it's just that you're not helping yourself in any way by complaining about it on social media.
Nothing we say will fundamentally change that being the right gender isn't a cure all for all mental problems. Before I transitioned I grappled with the fear that I just wanted to transition as an escape from my mental health issues. Eventually I realized that while transition was necessary to help myself, it was not everything I needed. It makes them solvable and worth solving, but it isn't the ultimate solution.
Sometimes you need to pass in order to continue straight, but it's not necessary to be trans. If only we were trainsgender we would transcend the concept of passing
from shameless conman to the next great dictator, who would've thunk it?