I declare bankruptcy

So a dollar more than a banana

David plowie

Call them what they are: chicken nuggets

The San-Ti were more honest about it.

I described an NFL game without the express written consent of NFL productions

Existential dread

Does her elbow look like a nipple to anyone else

There are too many people for us all to hunt our own meat, and the same amount of farmland that can feed x amount of livestock can feed significantly more people than the livestock would.

Love a good compromise

I got a 7 day ban for saying you haven’t served your life sentence until you are dead, they said that was promoting violence, I decided if they rejected my appeal it could only mean they don’t actually read appeals and I should just leave.

This question is addressed in the book “The Lovely Bones”

Don’t worry, tomorrow the head of officiating will explain why we are all wrong.

Workout timer that wants a subscription

I am so tired of strategic voting

You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel

Soon he will sign an executive order that there are three states of matter. Then one that there are two kingdoms of life.