If you use the same talking points and terminology ("low-value man" lol) as they do, then I have every reason to draw comparison. The problem lies with the fact that y'all insist on framing this as exclusively a men's issue, and that women are somehow to blame for having unrealistically high standards that you make up and project onto them.

Since we're cherry-picking surveys, here are some for you: https://www.salon.com/2022/11/06/why-are-so-many-young-people-are-having-less-and-fewer-friendships/ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/

Indeed, there is no basis in reality that women have it easier. You can speculate that it's a product of evolution but that at best only points to surface-level differences, while the overall negative experience that has come about from the commodification of dating affects both sexes.

Edit: Also, let's say that it is men who are disproportionately affected, I find it interesting that the first reason you go to are all the things that men are commonly insecure about (height, penis size, etc.) despite those things not being the focus of the sources you provided later.

This is the main reason why I compared your post to incel talking points. Their whole tactic is playing off of the insecurities of men, making them feel bad about themselves, and framing it as the opinions of women despite no input from actual women being present. Which, unfortunately, is exactly what you were doing with your initial post, whether you're aware of it or not.

here's the original source from the artist's own page: https://nitter.snopyta.org/bysau_/status/1490690760718565380

y'know, i really thought lemmy would be better than this but i guess it is just fucking reddit all over again.

this stupid "men have to be chad thundercock or die alone!!!1111 it's so easy for women waahhhhh" shit is just a divisive incel talking point with no basis in reality. you literally just pulled numbers out of your ass too. the incel community is growing at an alarming rate because of all the talking heads on social media who purport this trash and people like you who mindlessly repeat it.

Right wingers and left wingers mean entirely different things when they refer to "libs" though. Righties associate liberalism with anything that Fox News tells them is woke (totally unaware that their politics literally are neoliberal), while leftists refer to the actual political ideology, which is an inherently capitalistic one.

Too bad this instance won't approach federation with Threads in the same manner; I don't think any positive outcomes could be expected from their behavior either.

Okay yeah that's fair actually.

And if I can give one piece of feedback for your reply, it would be to stop telling people how to behave. One of the things that really bothered me about Reddit was this expectation that everyone needs to write the exact same way. We can do without that here. It doesn't hurt anyone to use emoticons, emojis, and anything else that might make a post more fun, so what's the problem?

Thank you for pointing out that this is so much worse than just EEE. Meta has a long history of social and political engineering, and deliberately creating a toxic environment that turned all of our parents and grandparents into deranged conspiracy theorists. They don't just let hate thrive on their platform, they artificially inflate it in the name of engagement and profit.

I see no reason to assume they won't do all of this again, and should they do it all again it's going to impact the entire Fediverse. Even if you just stick to instances that block Meta, if you're federating with instances that aren't, the toxic environment Meta is likely to build will come back to you. If the majority of instances fail to block them, I can't bear to stay here and watch what has become the internet's most healthy and vibrant community rot from the inside.

I honestly don't understand why this is even a debate. If even a fraction of the shit meta has pulled was done by a smaller Fediverse instance, we all wouldn't hesitate to defederate from them.

And to those of you who justify Threads because Meta is somehow the lesser of two evils compared to Twitter, please remember that while Twitter is owned by a raging and incompetent manchild, Meta has eroded democracies and played a major role in a genocide. Don't fucking support these murderers. Meta is more than happy to spread even more hatred and killing in the world if it boosts their profits.

The reason is federation. People actually happen to be pretty good at holding each other accountable and self-regulating when there isn't a central authority deciding what is and isn't acceptable. Bad actors naturally gravitate toward the instances that welcome them, and then the rest of us defederate from those instances to maintain the peace. Those bad instances then stagnate or fizzle out from the inactivity.

On centralized social media, what stays and goes isn't dictated by the community but a handful of people at the top, and troublemakers are often given a bigger platform than they would have had otherwise.

Mastadon is a lot bigger and older than Lemmy is, and yet it still has the same vibe as this place.

I finally found you! The one other person who still uses Trinity!

Reddit has always had a massive problem with misogynists, racists, pedophiles, etc. and the staff never does anything about it until there's media attention. They monopolized the web forum medium which basically forced communities to have to exist on that extremely toxic, hate-filled website.

I'd say I'm elated to see it go, but to be honest I don't think it is going anywhere. With any luck, Lemmy will become a vibrant community while all the assholes stay on the site they deserve.

Edit: Also, Reddit is designed to be addictive and has a reputation for it's negative, doomscroll-inducing atmosphere. Then there's the whole race-to-the-top karma system that ensures that Reddit has a monoculture where all the replies are predictable and similar.

Fediverse platforms aren't built around being addictive and in general tend to be more positive and diverse, making them feel large in spite of actually being significantly smaller than mainstream platforms.