Yeah Trump could litterally be holding a knife to their neck and they'd continue making excuses for him. If they were gonna learn, they would have by now.
The only policy these people have is taking down their perceived enemies.
I would strongly suggest seeking advice from a medical professional (if you have the means) rather than advice from strangers on the internet. I'm I can't say what advice a professional might have, because I'm not a medical professional, but it will almost certainly be better than what anyone here can give you.
And if you're not sure if your problem is worth talking to someone about, that in itself is a sign that something is wrong. I know it's hard, I've been there, but please understand it is the best course of action (again, if you have the means).
Mythical Ohio W